m 15 years ihave 4 kids here is my story. 5years ago my w told me she had a affair a month later she told me she had been abused as a child and that it was rape not a affair that she was just looking 4 a friend. she tryed 2 make things work between us but i couldnt let go of what happened. it made me a person that i didnt even like i was full of hate and vary unhappy.everyone would tell me i had to forgive the guy that raped my wife. how do u do that? it made me mad that my w went looking for a friend.it made my life a living hell my w got sick of talking about it with me.this made things even worst i felt like i had no one to talk to or that even cared.then about a year ago someone did start to listen to me a girl at work which lead to a 2 week affair.after that i had new worries which took the focus off the past.but i was already in some bad pattern with my wife.for example when she did something that hurt my feelings or made me mad.i didnt want to talk about or bring up up the pastso i would not say anything some times for days.sometimes this would work but there where alot of times it didnt and the past would be pulled in again.2 months ago she told me she had had enough and that she just didnt love me any more.i started going 2 a counselor thats how i found out about db and things started to get a little better.but i knew i couldnt fix things with my secret so a month ago i told her of my affair.it almost made things beter for a couple weeks.then 2 weeks ago she moved out and filed for d.now im alone and need help im still seeing my counselor and talking to a dbc but it is the time in between i would like some help with
me:38 w:37 k:s10&6d14&9 w:2m step d 18 is m with baby boy
thank you for responding i hope that whatever you are going through is going well for you.i had my younger kids today it was great we went riding horses and just hung out.but i missed my w and my oldest will not talk to me right now.i dont know what to do about that i just think if i can fix things with w she will come around.i would like some advice on that if anyone can.
me:38 w:37 k:s10&6d14&9 w:2m step d 18 is m with baby boy
Is your W in any kind of IC? Is there a chance that she would consider MC with you? Just from what you have written there seems to be a lot of issues on both sides that have contributed to the breakdown of the M.
Sorry you have to be here but this is the best place to be if you are looking for help.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Wow, some wild stuff there. Did you all prosecute the "friend"? How old is everybody, where is she living? Is there any contact between you guys? Who is taking care of the children?
thank you for your response yes my w has been seeing a ic and no she is not willing to see a mc.she was two weeks ago but has changed her mind.iam hopefull that she will change it back she has been a little nicer to me lately.i have been doing the 180 and i think that im getting some good responses.she was even willing to go see michele at one time
me:38 w:37 k:s10&6d14&9 w:2m step d 18 is m with baby boy
wow is right have you ever heard worst. the cops would not do any thing said that it was a he said she said case and we would lose.she lives 20 minutes away and has the kids. there is some contact vary little but not today. after i told her about the affair she would want me to leave one day then want me in the same bed the next.then when kids got out of school move out and filed for d.i wish i would of found dbing sooner she might still be with me.
me:38 w:37 k:s10&6d14&9 w:2m step d 18 is m with baby boy
idk, you're up against a lot, but one step, one day (sometimes one minute) at a time and you will make progress. I know how you feel about finding db sooner. I sure wish I found it sooner (I stumbled across it 6 mos after W left), but I found it. And so did you. That's what's important.. And so far, I don't think any S's have dropped the Bomb and a copy of DR at the same time.
Crash-coursing helped me immensely: read, read, read. Read these posts. Read DR, What Works Thread, Film Study Thread, the books you see mentioned on this forum, Go back and read this forum from months back. Find the many, many common threads, axioms and wisdom and realize they're common and prevalent for a reason: they're true.
I hope I'm not sounding strident, here, just you-can-do-it insistent. I've been here only 2 weeks and it has changed my life (and my sitch). Literally.
Get going. We're all here.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
she is making me sign d papers tommrow wants to start dating as soon as she can. has someone in mind she did give me a hug tonight and is feeling bad about it all.she also said that she wish someone would just be here for her for once in her life.i just she would give me another chance.
me:38 w:37 k:s10&6d14&9 w:2m step d 18 is m with baby boy
