I found out last night that my H is living with the OW and her mom right now, and the two of them are looking for a place together and would like to run a horse ranch together (WTH??). See my C today, thank goodness, and then it's the weekend. I need to run and clear my head. Can't believe how much it hurts all over again. Oh well. I guess there's a plan but it sure is hard to see it. H hasn't even filed for D. More MLC behavior I guess.
Sorry about you finding out what you did. It has to hurt, and I feel bad for you. I work in the medical field, and I deal with people daily who are scared of getting bad news...of finding out something bad. I tell them "it's what you DON'T know that can really hurt you...once you find out what you're dealing with...THEN you can do something about it." You've taken some hard licks, and you took another one when you found out about this. I'm sorry for ya'. Get outside there this weekend in that beautiful place where you live and escape...let all other thoughts and stresses get pounded into the pavement/trail. While you're out there, you can 'own' something that's uniquely yours, and connect with something so much bigger! The exertion, the view, the feeling, the run...get that peace of mind. The 'plan' is for you to be happy and fulfilled...with or without him! Live!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Thx. It was tough to hear it, but you are right that now that I know I can deal with it. I had a good day yesterday and have lots of plans for the weekend. I am going to the pool with my girlfriend today and just veg! Going to start working on redecorating the basement for the kids, and creating a fun hangout spot for them down there. It used to be my H's man cave and I told the kids they can do whatever they want down there. They wanted to take out the bar area that my H put in (with old skis around the sides). Two weeks ago I wasn't sure I was ready to let that go, but I am now. In fact, all traces of H can be removed from the basement now and we will all be better for it.
Thx. It was tough to hear it, but you are right that now that I know I can deal with it. I had a good day yesterday and have lots of plans for the weekend. I am going to the pool with my girlfriend today and just veg! Going to start working on redecorating the basement for the kids, and creating a fun hangout spot for them down there. It used to be my H's man cave and I told the kids they can do whatever they want down there. They wanted to take out the bar area that my H put in (with old skis around the sides). Two weeks ago I wasn't sure I was ready to let that go, but I am now. In fact, all traces of H can be removed from the basement now and we will all be better for it.
Good for you on redecorating the basement. Focus, big-time, on your kids. They're gonna like this basement project! I'm glad you're doing it...and I agree, you'll all be better for it. Start getting more enjoyment out of life...have a good time at the pool today!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
The pool was great. Watching my friend's four year old play. He always makes me smile. Read a book and totally relaxed. Went downtown and shopped a little. Home tonight and enjoying the solitude. I was working on stuff around the house and feeling very comfortable with being alone. I know I'm getting stronger.
I asked my C what advice she had for me following the news about H and OW living together. She asked if I meant what to do that would be best for me, or real world answer. She said the best thing for me would to hire a hit man and get the photos mailed to me afterward. Haha - oh, did I laugh about that one. (she was just kidding!) Real world solution - take care of myself, say yes to all invites even if it's not something I'd normally do, and exercise to clear my head. I didn't run today so I'll try to do that in the morning or ride my bike. Beautiful weather in CO right now... cool evenings and warm sunny days. God is good!
I feel good about my wknd. I ran this morning, then worked in the yard for a few hours. Went shopping and bought a little pendant for myself at a festival. Saw my dad (who isn't any better) and just sat for awhile with him. We have a meeting tmrw with the doctor/therapists about his prognosis (on my parents 57th anniversary). May be looking at hospice care tmrw.
The run this morning really helped my PMA. I hope I can keep that up every day or two b/c it really, really helps my 'tude.
I feel good about my wknd. I ran this morning, then worked in the yard for a few hours. Went shopping and bought a little pendant for myself at a festival. Saw my dad (who isn't any better) and just sat for awhile with him. We have a meeting tmrw with the doctor/therapists about his prognosis (on my parents 57th anniversary). May be looking at hospice care tmrw.
The run this morning really helped my PMA. I hope I can keep that up every day or two b/c it really, really helps my 'tude.
If the running "really, really helps" your attitude...then by all means, keep it up! Riding does it for me. Any stressors that I have...I just ride em' into the pavement when I'm out there!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Haha - good advice! I have my tennis lessons tonight with the kids, and a 3 day weekend. ST goal - run or bike each day this wknd.
Went to the concert at Red Rocks last night. Awesome! Jackson Browne is so cool and it was very pretty sitting in the rocks, with the Denver skyline lighting up... wow!
More CC calls this week. Sent text to H and email for documentation. Asked him to please call the CC #s and make arrangements. Wanted to add something like 'y'know, with everything going on with my dad, I really don't need this crap', but I didn't. Just kept it factual and friendly but detached, which is my current mindset.
Dad is about the same. Interviewing two hospice facilities tmrw with my family, and spending time with my mom to review finances and ease her mind about her future. Dad provided for her, and the kids, very well but she never got involved with paying bills. She's from a different generation, of course, but she needs to know now what's what and feel empowered to make some decisions, with help from the family.
