It probably won't make a difference whether he confesses this to you or not. I'm sure having a sense that someone was "there for him" made it easier to leave. Whether you know or not, I think you will still have to go through the healing process either way, and sometimes this is a long process. And some people never seem to work through it. They are broken and bitter years later.
I think getting involved in a romantic relationship immediately after separation only slows this process because it's like using a bandaid rather then focusing on yourself as an individual, and going through the healing process. It's a distraction. A form of self-medication. Dating, not because a person is ready for a real relationship (worked through the baggage, and is ready for something real...), it's just a way to fill a void. In the long run it often only makes the whole process take longer.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I understand the health insurance thing. I was in the same situation. To be honest, if I end up divorcing I wont be able to afford my car insurance anymore either.
I dated early in my separation too. But I realized that I couldnt commit to a relationship when I was still as devestated by H's A and the idea of D just terrified me. And the guy was a crazy jerk . I dont think that its a good idea to try to establish a serious R while this is going on. Even when people think that they will be ok during a D, its very painful and a new relationship just doesnt need that drama.
That was just a little bit of my man hater showing before!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
If you read "How to Improve Your Relationship Without Talking About It".....it says that the very very high high majority of men who leave their marriages leave with another person fully in place or they have their eye on them.
My H constantly wants to remind that he didn't leave for another person. That's BS and it's never going to be resolved. He believes what he believes because it makes him look better. I know that he left with his eye on this other person.
Oh and if it makes you feel any better, OW went out and got a boyfriend who she is now engaged to after five months and only seeing each other on the weekends....and she was messing with my husband the very high majority of the time.....feel for her fiance, but not my problem....so that keeps with the statistics that these things tend to not work out.
Yeah, my H's OW was married, and lived 600 miles away, he took a plane to visit her, and ended up showing up at her house when she had another man over! So she told H then and there that she didnt want to see him anymore! I thought it was pretty poetic justice!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Are you sure he wants out? I mean really really wants out? Maybe he wants to "date" other people to see? Maybe he's not really done, he's just testing the waters. Could you forgive him for that?
All cheaters lie. Period. You already know in your gut and your heart that he was already cheating. Yes, it sucks that he is not man enough to admit it, but that's just the way it goes.
When my BF was having his affair he repeatedly lied to my face, denying that he was seeing OW when I had all the details of when/where they were meeting. I just wanted him to admit it and stop the lying but that didn't happen until after we broke up and he decided he wanted me back. Since that scenario is not likely in your sitch I wouldn't hold my breath for him ever 'fessing up.
Plus knowing the details really hurts. I wish I didn't know half the stuff I do, like that he was more concerned with her feelings on my birthday and that he had sex with her in our house.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
. I dont think that its a good idea to try to establish a serious R while this is going on. Even when people think that they will be ok during a D, its very painful and a new relationship just doesnt need that drama. 