Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

I had to give myself a pat on the back yesterday for not getting too sucked back in.

Exh is so good at making you feel sorry for him and stroke his wounded ego. Yesterday he was here for a visit and was venting about his D15 who is pretty much out of control. Her mother lets her do pretty much what she wants and exh has really no say so. Oh, he tries but it falls on deaf ears. He was telling me what was happening to her and said I was the only one he could talk to about this. Um, yeah right. So I gave my opinion on what he should be doing but in the back of my mind was saying "what the heck do you think? You have been pretty much checked out as a dad for the last 15 years. Why do you think you should have any credibility now?"

So after he leaves he sent a text "Thanks for talking with me today. I am so worried about D. Nice to know we can have a civilized conversation."

I didn't respond and haven't heard from him since. I feel bad about his D15 too but I don't know if I should be his shoulder. He has his unstable gf for that! LOL

Off to church!

[JAK58]

[/quote]I feel bad about his D15 too but I don't know if I should be his shoulder. He has his unstable gf for that! LOL
[quote]

Yes he does have his GF for that. He is trying to suck you back in. DON"T LET HIM.
Glad you see that though. You should give yourself a pat on the back.


JAK

[Startingover2]

I am trying to make visits as pleasant as possible hoping that he won't get too frustrated about not being able to take her. Longshot I know, but worth a try.

Yesterday he stayed almost 2 hours! We spent time with baby together as we were outside and then she wanted me at least in the room most of the time. Another one of those visits that tug on my heart strings and make me want to yell "WHY?". He wants to spend Halloween with us. What to do?

He knew we were going to a MNF party after he left. During the game, he sent a few texts saying how fun it was with her. I am sure he felt the heartstrings too (or maybe not) but probably wanted to keep his foot in the door.

I feel proud of myself right now. I am walking in life with no regrets on how I am living it. I am doing the best I can with the hand that I have been dealt. God and my children come first before anyone or anything. Not out looking for a man and for the first time I am at peace with being alone. Not really fun all the time but I am feeling better about it. Baby didn't ask for this messed up life and I won't complicate it any further.

Music class today!!!

[JAK58]

[/quote] but probably wanted to keep his foot in the door. [quote]

This is the most likley senerio.(refer to 10/25 post)

You sound so much better in your post. I am happy for you and your detachment. It is hard though and you have to remind yourself everyday what you are not missing about your xH, not just those times that tug at your heartstrings.

(((((so2)))))

JAK

[JAK58]

How ya doin today?

I want to hear what U are up to.
More about you less about XH.
Tryin to help you stay on an aven keel here.

JAK

[blindsided1]

You sound like you are doing pretty well. I'm happy to see you setting those boundaries and sticking to the. Hang in there. I think of you and Hay everyday.

[Startingover2]

Thanks BS...I think of you guys too. We need to get together again. That was fun.

Lets see JAK..Me? Well I am plugging along. Just doing kid things mostly. Pretty busy week and I am feeling decent. I know that exh's issues run deeper than the alcohol/pills. Even if he became sober cheating is who he is.

The busier I am the better I am. I am content with being alone..only took me 15 months to get there! But I still need some social interaction with friends. A few times a week is what has been happening. Wish it was more but with baby its hard to find things to do.

I guess I will let him do Halloween with us. Its easy for exh to play happy family with us and then crawl in bed with gf, but its a mind battle for me.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I feel proud of myself right now. I am walking in life with no regrets on how I am living it. I am doing the best I can with the hand that I have been dealt. God and my children come first before anyone or anything. Not out looking for a man and for the first time I am at peace with being alone. Not really fun all the time but I am feeling better about it. Baby didn't ask for this messed up life and I won't complicate it any further.

These are very wise words. keep saying this to yourself so you can believe it and live it everyday

[S.T. _I Made It!]

hey, it doesn't mean it's easy for exh either. you just aren't going to see his struggle. you see all the hurt he causes you. He's hurting to, but he's the one causing it. People who hurt others do so because they are hurting. He's messed up, you've got your stuff figured out better than him.

[JAK58]

ST is so very right but,remember that the only chance that xH has to heal is to feel the consequences of his actions and learn from them. These are not your problems thus you need to stay detached and heal yourself.

I love to hear you talk about you, as we can see you are working on that everyday. It's great.

JAK