Well, you can learn to get by with a bad leg, but if it gets so bad and is engandering your health, they will lop it off for you, you dont get a say in it !!! Has H mentioned divorcing, now that the truth is out and do you think he is seeing ow again? He had said it was completely over hey.
H hasnt mentioned anything after the heated discussion we had when I found about OW meeting my son and the pregnancy...
I have asked him, thru email, to stay quiet, respectful and discreet if he wants to ever coparent the kids with me...
I talked to the lawyer's office. She is back Monday. He is leaving for 10 days with the team, I want the first draft to be ready before he leaves. He told my bf, he wants to proceed only after I have calmed down. Whatever... K
You sound much better now and are getting on an even keel. Your future will just keep getting better. And another ride on the starship of love has been promised to you by the galactic wizard.
I find it interesting that BobbiJo and you are both seeing a lawyer on the same day.
Hello Friend! I have missed you. Sorry I haven't been around here in so long. I just needed to leave for awhile. I see a lot more $h!t hit the fan while I was gone. I'll try to check up on you more often.
Red
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
Hey red, the sh!t really hit the fan this time... I am sitting here today, reading articles about forgiveness and anger management and trying to set a path of how to move on with the less possible damage for me and the kids.
It's not an easy task. Gypsy suggested I pray for sbX, or send good thoughts over to him as a way to fight resentment. I find it hard to sit here, with doors and windows closed, replaying in my head the story and not getting upset about how our love died.
I am having a very hard time realising that all the months he was with me, in this house, with me walking on eggshels, trying to understand, accepting his mood changes, worrying that he was depressed, crying and begging, blaming myself, feeling guilt as hell, he was already long gone and didnt manage to find compassion in his heart for me, to make it easier, to be honest.
There was no way I could have made a difference, he was already so deep in the affair, I was only the obstacle to his happiness...
Last night I went with a friend to the area close to Acropolis. It was a lovely night and the rock was visible, nice colors, lights etc etc. It a great area for walks and that's where I met stxH. I used to work down there as Manager at a restaurant. We passed by the restaurant and one of my former waiters recognised me and hugged me and said "wow, it's been 13 years..." The duration of or relationship. He said "you havent changed" and I was thinking "ohhh, but I have, trust me"... K
Hi Maria, I have read the replies you have gotten and yes all so true, but you know we are only human and forgiveness etc doesn't happen for some, dare I say most, for years and then some. I can see it is a good thing, but we can only get to that place when we are ready. All the other emotions,anger and pain have to be felt and gone through first, supress nothing,it will come back to you otherwise. I am not saying act on the emotions,be fair at all times but gosh you wouldn't be normal not to have anger at this time. Not only do they break our hearts and then some, they jump up and down on them and have us wondering what is actually wrong with us!
When I first came to these boards a very wise person told me that by the time they walk out the door,they have left us a long time before that and have often set up new lives elsewhere or at least have formulated a plan. That is why they seem to get the "new life" together so much quicker than the LBS.
This is such early days for you and you have much to go through to see the end,but when you get there you will be just fabulous. In some ways the realisation that there was nothing we could have done better does help with the healing. Nor was it wasted time and effort because we had to do it for us as much as trying to appease or please our partner. It was a part of who we are.
Can you release any emotions through your art? I wrote realms of poetry! extremely bad poetry I have to say in retrospect-lol. Hugs to you my friend.
For months/years I thought she was a symptom of the kind of relationship we had in late 2006 begining 2007. He was so unhappy he turned to her, now I know, that after 2 horrible years with our kids constantly sick, he didnt bother to take care of us, he immediately looked for love elsewhere, really messing with my head and manipulating the sitch so that he could pin the blame on me. I know, that's the way they do it to survive the guilt, it still is very hard to accept he was just another weak man looking for a way out, with absolutely no consideration of my feelings...
