Ali sent a text form Santorini where she and BF watched the sunset overlooking the view to the vulcano, she said "read this..., it's all in there" :
No need to rush, time is on your side. Not only that, the more you wait, sink and settle into yourself, the more the clarity will come. All the focus is on your relationships and how you have made choices in the past relative to partners. Self scrutiny is high but so is careful analysis about what you need and what you thought another could give you. You are turning a critical corner involving love, one that hopefully leaves a load of painful patterns behind. It is a corner that offers new ways to be in love and with love. This equals minimizing attachment and making choices out of desire versus need. New hope rises with the Sun as others show some impressive signs of growth. It looks like you have a choice to make.
Give it a wee bit more time. By my next forecast you can make your move.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
John are you a meteorologist? Who knew? Or do you do the other kind of forecasts?
K I haven't posted much as I have selfishly been absorbed by my own situation.
It is hard to say to you what you should do. In my case when H said he wanted to try again there was that 'vibe' that things were not right. My little voice told me it wasn't going to happen, he didn't have it in him....
Listen to your little voice. From over here it sounds like your H understands things now in a way he didn't or wouldn't understand them before. That is essential if you are going to rebuild. You can't use the old tools and blueprints or you will get the old result, again.
But with new perspective, new desire, new motivation, and new commitment? Who knows what you could build?
So I guess I am saying to listen to your own instincts on whether it is worth it. And know, as I have read here before, know whether you could handle it if it didn't work out...
I am wishing the best for you and yours. And sorry about those darn lice!!
I used to feel like a fish that had swallowed the hook, forgot about it as I swam 'free', and then felt pain and resistance as I was pulled in. It was something I couldn't escape when he drew me to him.
Try the following:
If it feels right, say yes. If it feels wrong, say no. If you waffle or can't make a decision, the answer is no.
At this point, it's not about him, it's about you. And you're twirling in 3000 directions looking to others for answers while waiting for the right question.
On the road to love is trust, respect, friendship. Shared history is a reflection of a long term relationship. Old habits die hard, as does being masochistic and a martyr. It was very easy for you to see how terribly my ex-spouse treated me, to call him a weak man, even as I waffled over what I remembered of his finer qualities.
No one wants to end a marriage. The hope of a heroic ending is always a lure. Just remember the barbed hook that's attached to it.
I like what Gypsy said "At this point, it's not about him, it's about you." She also made some very good comments on how/when to know whether the answer is yes or no.
You have to go w/how you feel, regardless of how it impacts your children. I know that may sound callous, but ultimately, your children want to see you happy again and they'll understand if that means you have to be w/out stbx in order to be the sunshine.
Good Morning!!! Thank God it's Friday. Maybe the 2 hardest weeks in my professional life are ending today. At least I hope the following will be easier...
On Sat morning it's my son's brithday party. He didnt have a party last year and he is so excited. He will turn 8. And I feel like I am 15... LOL!!
After I sent my reply to stbxH that I dont believe we got what it takes to get us thru piecing and that what I want was no where adressed adequately in his emails, he got silent. Yesterday he talked to me about the kids and was sad and not very ...upbeat. I am distant and follow my gut. K
PS This day last year I left NY. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. And I smile and feel warm fuzzies when I recall "the trip". Oh well, no use looking back...
Or do you do the other kind of forecasts?