OK, I think I'm ready for this today, just woke up and realized it was time. I don't feel like Infidelity is the place for me anymore. I'm ready to get D and move on with my life. Plus, pretty much everyone over there has already moved over here, and I miss you guys!!!
X has the kids this weekend, but let me take them to church today. (His didn't have children's church today). I loved seeing them and hugging them and kissing on D9 (no way would S15 let me do that of course).
X had emailed me yesterday asking me to wash the kids clothes and drop them off. We've been exchanging them back & forth (with me doing the laundry of course). I emailed him that I think we should just split their clothes in half. I gave him most everything he bought for them last week, although I had to keep 2 pairs of jeans for S15. When I get the money, I'll buy some for him and send those back too.
H picked up the kids after church and was doing the non-evasion not looking at me stuff. Looked kind of unhappy. I have to admit my first thought was what did I do; is he mad at me? Old patterns I guess. Then I snapped myself out of that and realized he could be looking that way for many reasons: he's had the kids for 2 days, or OW, or money or whatever. And even if he's mad at me, tough, b/c I make good decisions and ones that are motivated by my love for the kids.
I have mixed feelings about something today, and wanted to get feedback if you don't mind. My pastor today after church told me to call him this week. He offered me a job as director of moms day out and made sure to tell me it would be a paid position. First of all, this is a new thing they're starting, and I'm flattered they're thinking of me to help out.But, you know I'm thinking this is charity they're offering me b/c of my sitch. And I HATE that. I was thinking I would def. help out, but maybe I should offer to do for free volunteer (I'm sure there are many women in the congregation that would do that 2 mornings a week for 3 hours. Or should I bite the bullet and allow minimum wage or something until I hopefully do get a job that I know isn't charity???
Although none of us really wish you had the need to move in this direction, we are glad to make you welcome all the same.
I guess I get to ask for the first drink since you're starting a new thread here. I'll take a nice glass of red wine -- that'll help me to sleep well tonight.
On the paid position offer: I am inclined to think this might be more than just charity but Providence, if you know what I mean. Perhaps this might be God giving you a new direction? Something to think about.
Does it really matter? People are trying to help you and I think that it is awesome. Apparently the pastor sees in you what we all do. You could let him know if something else comes up full time you would most likely take it and if they still want you, something is so much better than nothing.
Give yourself some credit and go for it.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Karen, don't feel bad, Sweetie. The church is doing what they do. They watch out for one of their flock. If you would like the job, just accept it graciously and then help someone else out when you can.
Welcome and condolations on you finding yourself here (all though I think you'll be much happier as there is certanly less tension in the air here versus where you came from).
I'll take a lite, pitcher as always.
I'd bite on the job. I've been meaning to return to our chruch but haven't been able to drag myself to go just yet, lots of reasons there to overcome. But getting stronger everyday and would think the moment I do return, I'd hear something similar as I'm a 'jack of all trades' and they have plenty of projects around the facility. Go for it!
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
I'd bite on the job. I've been meaning to return to our chruch but haven't been able to drag myself to go just yet, lots of reasons there to overcome. But getting stronger everyday and would think the moment I do return, I'd hear something similar as I'm a 'jack of all trades' and they have plenty of projects around the facility. Go for it!
Thanks for your advice. And I hope you drag yourself at one point! My church is one of the main reasons I've come through this, friends here too of course!!! Karen
Ok, beer, wine, dirty martini. Consider yourself served. I'm going to take your advice and speak to the pastor tomorrow.
I meant to today but ran out of time. I was doing errands like dropping off my financials (this years) for the L and paying bills/banking. I did stop and get coffee from our local Starbucks type place and chatted there, then went to our local used book store. I found a 1950 copy of the first in the Boxcar Children series for D9. She's read a bunch from the series and loved them, and we've never read the first one yet! Then I get on down the road from where I was going and there was a car accident right where I would have been if I hadn't stopped, and I missed it. It was weird b/c I had no plans to go there, just wound up there. I suspect I have a guardian angel (or two)... Karen
[Thanks for your advice. And I hope you drag yourself at one point! My church is one of the main reasons I've come through this, friends here too of course!!! Karen
No problem. For me, I was never a very religious person. I dabbled in high school with all types, trying to find the right fit for me. I mean I do believe, I believe in a lot other things as well. But some were too 'preachy' and others to strict.
Then, a few years back my MIL became ill and diagnosed with a brain tumor. Her neice persueded her to go to her church. She did and became a regular. Eventually she had my family tag along and it's a great church, the pastor is awsome and it's a good fit for me. And the kids have an awsome time too.
The problems are, as everything tumbled out of control with XW, I begged that we start going again as we didn't after MIL passed away. So I will walk in there bearing that. Then I will no doubt run into XW's cousin, although I'm sure there's no ill feelings there as that cousin used to hold the holiday dinners, and since the appearance of OM, and miliscious ways of my former FIL, no longer does. But, XW also brought OM there already for the X-mas or Easter mass, don't remember which, maybe both.
So, that said, just another ripple effect of the D that I have to overcome, but am just about there.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
