Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[Lll54]

Curious as to where you meet companions? I am not ready yet, but we've been separated for two months now, and not one single prospect? How do you do it?

[etrain]

First post in a while.
britt...in my case, she is an old college friend who I've hung out with (as friends)periodically through the years (reunions, homecomings, etc.)..most times with my W there too. We've gone out the past 3 Sat nights...sometimes just us, sometimes w/ other friends there too.
I also joined match.com & met one woman who I've been chatting with. We met for coffee once & are going out again tonight. I never did the internet thing before & felt really weird about it but so far she seems "normal".

I'm not looking for anything serious right now...just not ready yet. Just some casual dating, going out & having a good time. I think I deserve to be happy & not sitting around in my house wondering what W is doing. It's my life and I have to live it.

[etrain]

Oh, and as confident as a feel sometimes, I also drift back into depression every now & then. Like during my drive to work this morning...I just started to feel really down & really lonely.
It sucks to feel that way...especially during the holidays.

[etrain]

Well, the holidays have been "strange" this year. Spending part of Christmas day by myself was awful.

I'm really not sure what's going on between W & I. Neither of us are wearing our wedding rings. There's been absolutely no R talk since she moved out on 10/31. At times, I'm furious at her. Other times, I miss her. I'm GAL'ing & having fun with friends in the meantime. I guess that's all I can do.

I have no idea what W is doing. I'm sure Christmas must have been hard on her too since I had our S on Christmas Eve & Christmas morning...but she's not letting on that anything's bothering her. It's like we're both trying to prove that we're fine w/o the other.
Honestly, I don't know why W hasn't filed for D yet. It's not like we're working on our R in any way. I mean, does she want to play the field for a while & use me as a fallback plan after she's finished "having fun"? I'm certainly not okay with that. I'm not even sure what I want. I guess I'll keep doing what I'm doing. Once I recover (financially) from the holidays, I will consider filing for D myself. I don't see the point of waiting if we're not even going to work on things.

[etrain]

Life on my own is such a roller coaster ride. I have 4 words stuck in my head this morning.

I miss my family.

[GH31]

I miss my family.

My heart goes out to you mate, it really does. Please hang in there and continue detaching.

best,

GH31

[etrain]

Okay, I haven't been on here in a long, long time...but I thought I'd give an update.

Since W moved out last Halloween, we've been living separate lives. Not once in the past year have we discussed our M. Our only discussions have concerned our son. He's adjusted very well, btw. Although I sometimes miss the "idea" of being married, I am fully detached from my W & have adjusted to my new schedule with my son. From what I understand, my W is still "sneaking around" with her out of state, married co-worker...and I've reached the point where I don't even care. If anything, I'm a little embarassed to have been married to someone capable of such behavior.

Well ,the combination of hitting the 1 year anniversary of our S and my 40th b-day got me in the mindset of wanting to "start over" and "get my life back" so I brought up the subject of divorce to W last week. We seem to be on the same page & we're meeting w/ an attorney on Friday.

So, D was not busted. But I thank all of you for the support you gave me last year as I was going thru the most difficult period of my life. I hope to eventually reach the point where I'm willing to open up my heart and get into another serious relationship. I'm not there yet...maybe some day.
Again, thank you for being there for me. I wish all of you the best.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

etrain,

what have you done from January to November?
YOur ast post was 1/17.

[etrain]

etrain,
what have you done from January to November?
YOur ast post was 1/17.

Just living my life...doing things with my S, going out with friends, working out, spending time with family, etc. I did some dating but my heart wasn't really in it so I've taken a break from that. My S lives with me 1/2 the time so I'm usually busy with him.

I guess you could say I've been living as if I were already divorced. Maybe a combination of detaching & going dark if I were going to try to put it into DB terminology.

Until I brought up D a week ago, the only interaction between us had been about our S. We're civil towards each other and both go to his school/sports activities. She seems to have the attitude that we're best friends & everything is great. It annoyed me at first but now I find it more humorous than anything else. She accidentally called me "Hon" last week and "Babe" yesterday evening...so I got a chuckle out of that. I almost told her that her "Babe" priviledges had been revoked...but thought better of it.

Seriously, I stopped worrying about what she was doing & started living my own life. I guess I stopped posting here because nothing had changed.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

etrain.

I was in the same sitch as you. Turned 40 last month decide to move on with my life. I also started initiating D talk.

I had contact with W only about the kids for the past 7 months.

I met with a mediator the discuss the division of our estate.

I was totally check out of the M. I was going to be fine no matter what. I worked hard on myself for the past year and others really noticed.

A week after mediation I get a call from W. SHe was trying to say she wanted to work on us but could't come out and say it.

I gave her a month to reach out again but she didn't.
I emailed her stating I understand you don't want to be with me and once the agreement(contract) was finalized, I would be the one to file.

I don't know if that sparked her fire but we just went out last week for the first time.

I'm just saying, crazy things have happened. I really thought I was going to be D in 6 months, Now I'm not too sure about that.

Maybe the reality of the Sitch will wake her up, maybe not.
What do you want?