Not trying to depress anyone, but with the holidays fast approaching, it is time to start thinking about what you can to to make this time of year more palatable.
For the past few years we have always started a thread with wonderful ideas and recipes.
Please post some of the things you have done, (especially the old timers here) to make the hoildays easier to cope with.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Truly enjoy the love and warmth of your children and loved ones you will be with. Cherish this time as it goes by quickly and before you know it, the kids are grown and moved out of the house.
This will be the first Thanksgiving and Christmas H will not be with us as he is not invited. Not being mean....he needs to be there since he chose to be with someone else and her family.
Try not to dwell on the one who left you as hard as it is......
Ask the kids what they would like to make, see what they want to do...maybe they want to do something different. Now is the time to do it.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Christmas has always been a big deal with our family, and we have created many traditions throughout the years.
I am one of those insane people who actually collects Hallmark ornaments for every occasion, and decorates the house after Thanksgiving dinner.
The first Christmas my Husband was MIA, I had absolutely no desire to drag out the Christmas stuff. I just didn't want to deal with it.
But for the sake of the children, I knew I had to do something.
While they were at school, I picked up a tree and set it up in a different room rather then the formal living room. When the kids got home from school they made their own decorations and created such a beautiful tree. We now have two trees each year, a small one for the children and the larger one for the family stuff.
On Christmas Eve, I loaded all of the kids into the van, and we saw a movie at the 10PM showing. We had never done anything like that before and it was really fun. By the time we got back home it was after midnight.
We have continued to do the movie thing for the past few years now, and it has become a new tradition. It also helps to have them really tired so they are not getting up at 5am Christmas morning.
We also began drawing names after Thanksgiving dinner. Christmas presents were pretty much out of the question when my Husband left, as there was no money for extras. Each of the kids picked out a name from the hat, and secretly made each other a gift. They really loved this idea, and have continied this tradition.
It is amazing how creative they have become, from knitting a scarf, to taking a photo and making their own frame to put it in.
I do believe that we have to put our misery and grief aside as best we can during this time of year, especially if there are children involved. Consider it a Christmas present to yourself.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
The apt I live in doesn't have a fireplace (the house which is now X's does). I covered part of a wall with red construction paper with a brick pattern drawn on it. The kids cut logs and flames our of construction paper and we made our own fireplace over which we hung our stockings. They had a blast and were very proud of the finished product.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
Christmas is something that I have always tried to make very special for myself and my S. For me, because I miss the snow and it just is not the same without it.
I start decorating the day after Thanksgiving as well.
As soon as I see Santa at the end of the Macy�s Parade, it is Christmas time for me.
I try to get something new for the house every year. I decorate every room, including the bathrooms. After the bombs, it was forced, but I felt it was really important to keep doing that. For me, for S, and even for H although he hates Christmas. Mr. Scrooge in the flesh.
Candles, I put them in the fireplace even. It is too hot here to light the fire, but it gives a very nice effect.
Just my favorite time of year and I refuse to let anyone change that for me.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
-Clean out kids toys and clothes early December with the kids to give to a charity that helps people over xmas. Bonus extra space to store kids xmas gifts later and helps kids with giving side of xmas.
- homemade decorating kids rooms, streamers etc, kids love this (I have little kids)
- walk at night xmas eve to check out the stars and look for santa. Calms kids down.
- New PJs for the kids xmas eve. Photos first thing xmas day kids look respectable, kids go to bed easier night before.
- bake xmas treats during December give to elderly neighbours
- sprinkle flour around boot footprints front porch/driveway etc xmas eve, leave reindeer evidence (eg horse poo)
- gourmet breakfast xmas day for us. We have to travel long distance for families so wanted some transportable traditions.
Ingredients 2 cups peeled, cooked sweet potatoes 1 1/4 cups sugar 1/2 stick melted butter 2 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla extract or 1 to 2 tablespoons bourbon 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger 1 cup milk 9-inch unbaked pie crust 3 egg whites Directions Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
For the filling, using an electric hand mixer, combine the potatoes, 1 cup of the sugar, the butter, eggs, vanilla, salt, and spices. Mix thoroughly. Add the milk and continue to mix. Pour the filling into the pie crust and bake for 35 to 45 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Place the pie on a rack and cool to room temperature before covering with meringue.
For the meringue, using an electric mixer, beat the egg whites until soft peaks form; beat in the remaining 1/4 cup sugar 1 tablespoon at a time. Continue beating until the sugar dissolves and the mixture is glossy and stiff, but not dry. With a rubber spatula, spoon the meringue onto the pie, forming peaks. Make sure the meringue touches the crust all around. Sprinkle with a pinch of granulated sugar. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until delicately browned. Cool and serve.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Ingredients 1 pound leeks, cleaned and dark green sections removed, approximately 4 to 5 medium 3 tablespoons unsalted butter Heavy pinch kosher salt, plus additional for seasoning 14 ounces, approximately 3 small, Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and diced small 1 quart vegetable broth 1 cup heavy cream 1 cup buttermilk 1/2 teaspoon white pepper 1 tablespoon snipped chives Directions Chop the leeks into small pieces.
In a 6-quart saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the leeks and a heavy pinch of salt and sweat for 5 minutes. Decrease the heat to medium-low and cook until the leeks are tender, approximately 25 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Add the potatoes and the vegetable broth, increase the heat to medium-high, and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover, and gently simmer until the potatoes are soft, approximately 45 minutes.
Turn off the heat and puree the mixture with an immersion blender until smooth. Stir in the heavy cream, buttermilk, and white pepper. Taste and adjust seasoning if desired. Sprinkle with chives and serve immediately, or chill and serve cold.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
