Since I'm pretty confident that I'll be divorced in the next 3 months or so. Is there anyone who found out their WAS regretted divorcing months/years afterwards? Trust me, I'm not waiting around or living for that day; but deep inside I'd love to have that day come.
Kinda like "I tried my ass off to save it back then, but you wanted no part of it!"
I am not sure that the WAS DNA allows them to actually verbalize it that way. However, I have received compliments on several occasions that are not exactly regrets per se but are at least complimentary.
Mine will regret it one day, but will never, ever let me know. He has the ego the size of Europe.
Yours and mine are cut from the same cloth! I held a lot of resentment and bitterness for a while, because I kept waiting for an apology at the least. But then I realized that in order to apologize he would have to admit he was wrong.....and that will never happen. In order to regret what they did they would have to go through some self-evaluation and reflection, and I think the reason most of them did what they did is that they can't reflect and evaluate. That is the hard part of being a human, and they don't like the hard part, they look for the easy answer.....divorce, another person, whatever makes them feel good at the moment.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
I got a nice letter from my W saying that I did nothing wrong and that some nightmare had come into her life. She even asked for a second chance right before the D was final. But, she never really sucked in her pride and opened up as to why she strayed and became an a$$hole towards me.
There are some who haved patched it up after time apart; coach and greek ares notable examples. Dia just recently came back after three yrs.
I heard "maybe someday we can try again. You never know, there are couples who marry again after time apart." However I was being handed a settlement agreement so I read it as just making nice. There's a lot of crow to be eaten for something like this to happen.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Yes..it is possible. It is happening right now to me - 6 months post-D, xh is extremely remorseful. In fact, he stated that if he could do it all over again, he would never choose to break up our family. All that and still living with the same ow that he's been with...yet... strangely missing what he used to have when married to me. Go figure! The regret is there but the action to change is not. So, it doesn't really change anything but it's nice to know that I wasn't crzy in thinking that our marriage was worth saving.
LO, it's so GOOD to see you!!! Are you going to post a thread with an update or something? I'm sure there are many of us that would love to find out all about how you're doing!!!
I think that shouldn't be that surprising maybe. I know my X has lots of unrealistic expectations; has said D will basically solve all our problems, and everyone will be happier. Then you get the divorce and that doesn't happen, and maybe some things are even more difficult: with children and finances and step parenting etc. The OP shows more of their flaws. Maybe almost more surprising if that didn't happen. But I suspect some of our X's probably just wouldn't admit their feelings of regret though.
LO, it's so GOOD to see you!!! Are you going to post a thread with an update or something? I'm sure there are many of us that would love to find out all about how you're doing!!!
Awww..Karen you are too sweet.
I really don't have much to update to be honest. My new life is beginning to move along nicely. I have a great job and have been concentrating on being a more attentive Mom to D6. We've grown really close in the past few months. I still have a lot of ups and downs but know how to deal with them better now.
XH and I still have a lot of financial ties which is a drag to have to deal with but oh well.. Hopefully the economy will get better and we can sell sell sell!! He's still w/ow and her true self is starting to show. Problem is that she is starting to get nasty with my daughter.... Grrrr..... I'm not gonna let THAT happen!!!!
As for dating... I'm just not worried about it right now. I turned down a couple of requests for dates recently... Like everything else, I guess you know when you're ready. Has anyone seen "The Ugly Truth"? That's me.. the control freak... haha!! I think I need to get over that first!
That's really it for now.. I lurk around on the weekends and check everyone out..
