My husband left emotional affair with OW and career of 20 years to move back home with us nearly 2 years ago. I just found evidence today he has had contact with her again beginning in September. She has apparently left her husband and is living in our area. I've said nothing so far. Not sure what to do , how to react. I feel numb. Things had been pretty good with exception of last few weeks - likely time frame of contact. Then - familiar comments - questioning relationships, marriage, monogamy. All of my actions and responses have been to love and love some more. I don't know what else to do. But right now, I feel as though I need to move him on. Any advice?
Me: 41 H: 50 M: 15 years S14-D12-D10 S: 05/07 Back home: 08/08 EA: 4 yrs
Ugh, Summerd. Yuck. Are you able to talk to him a bit about what is going on, but not let on what you know? For instance, when he makes familiar comments - questioning relationships, etc - could you say something such as: H, these comments seem really familiar. You were saying such things during your A. Is everything ok? Is there something I can do to help you feel better about us?
I think by just asking him you may be able to learn some more information that would help you know what to do. If he responds truthfully you can then take the next step toward getting help and putting everything out in the open. If he covers it all up and denies, denies, denies, you would at least get to see that - and have the opportunity to either tell him you know, or not discuss it and find a way to move on. Either way, once you open that door, you're going to have to make a decision.
Thinking of you. em
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
