Just wanted to pop in. I haven't been on too much. Just needed a break from it all. AND IT WORKED. I am 100% better than I was a year ago. K is getting huge and I am loving EVERY minute of life with her. Financial things are horrible, but I am HAPPY. I am happy for the first time in a long time.
I plugged along for a while feeling depressed and snooping and making myself so very sad by analyzing every little thing. Now, I can't snoop - I got caught. It was pretty funny, I ended up giving myself away. Have to say, God works in mysterious ways.
At Christmas time, I bought a present for "their" son, K's brother. It was from K to her brother. On Xmas morning I got a text from OW saying thank you. First contact I had ever had with her in over 2 years. It was appropriate. I didn't respond.
A week or so later, I got another text and the flood gates opened. I spent a good 20 texts ripping her a new one...then I just said "it is what it is". She told me that she didn't expect me to forgive or forget, but she wanted to let me know that she was willing to try to make the best out of a bad situation for the children. I agreed, but told her that I would be civil, but I am far from being friends.
It was freeing. I stopped hating her. I stopped hating him. I stopped hating myself. I just closed that door. I can't explain it. It was what I needed.
Since then, she reaches out and texts me once in a while. Sends me pictures of the kids together. They really are cute together (the kids). But, I keep it short. She has complained about exH more than once. But, I just say "been there".
As much as I would like to think that she really is a good person...I have a ton of hesitation. I just try to look at the facts...
1) she had an affair with a married man who had a pregnant wife, moved him in immediately, paid off his debt, paid for everything and got pregnant right away. 2) she is good at telling people what they want to hear. 3) I have seen the other side of her. When she feels threatened it comes out. I saw it at Xmas when she got in a horrible fight with my ExH's brother because he joined my family for dinner (and his niece/goddaughter, mind you). She was awful. Even he said he had never seen that side of her.
So, I am keeping my eyes open and not falling for the sugary sweetness. I appreciate the gesture, but I can't help feeling like there is an alterior motive.
ExH has been really nice, too. He talks about things from our past and he is still making sexual advances towards me. He is relentless. It drives me nuts. But, I have been able to handle it. It's almost comical sometimes. The more I say no and ignore him, the more he calls or finds reasons to make contact. I ignore....
I am weeing off of my AD meds. And, the state is finally getting off their a$$ and doing something about my CS (8 months later).
I just wanted to say and tell you all that I love you. I needed you and you were there. And, I am doing GREAT!!!
I am going to try and catch up with you. But, it's going to take a while to get through all those post.
Hope that you are all doing much much better since I was here last.
Write me and I'll be in touch.
xoxoxox
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
So glad you are doing well. I can see on your FB that you are out having lots of fun.
You really have moved on and that is wonderful. I really need to as well. I am having a more difficult time of it. Not sure why. Maybe its because I don't have alot of other options to keep me busy.
OW#1 befriended me too. I am actually fine with her now. Now MGF has turned psycho on me. My own fault for having pity and sympathy for her.
I will let you know when we are coming down your way. May need to get some ideas for hotels etc.
Love you!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
it's so good to hear from you!!! and to see how you are doing! I love hearing everything you said. well, except for the OW crazy lady, but sounds like you are handling it quite well.
I think I had tried to check on you on FB, but lost you I think.
and I can't believe he is STILL hitting on you!! that is so crazy of him... except the part that you ARE worthy to be hit on!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Just checking in to see how everyone is doing. ExH is up to his old tricks. His hours shifted to swing shift. So, he now, periodically, calls me at night...usually to see if I'll bite when he asks me to talk dirty to him....plllleeeeeaaaasssse. Not even if he paid me. So, he says "hey, if OW texts you and asks you about any late night calls I make, tell her it was an accident. My butt called you." I said, "hey, got a better idea. Don't call me." And, I hung up. It was AWESOME. I felt on top of the world. Feels good to have some control back. But, nonetheless, it didn't deter him.
Then I come home last Friday and he is taking me back to court to lower the child support...yes, the child support he ISN'T PAYING. Little does he know....there is Child Support Services Attorney acompanying me because it's in their hands, now. He has no clue. It'll be interesting to see his face. So, I can pretty much count on the crappy ExH showing up sometime soon to call me names and belittle me and tell me how awful I am.
Bring it on. I'm not afraid of him ANYMORE.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
When do you go to court? I would love to be a fly on the wall that day!
Sooooo glad you are doing well. You deserve it!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
