I'm doing OK, IDU, thanks for asking. Still have bouts of impatience with my sitch, but that is to be expected. I have to keep telling myself that it is in God's hands and I can't mess with his plan.
I started the habit of praying the rosary every night in bed (first time since I was a babe in Catholic elementary school) and I have to say it is very calming and powerful. I included my wife's physical ailment in my intentions last night, as she had asked me to pray for her, and lo and behold, today she is feeling much better. She kind of chalked it up to the various remedies she was applying, but they weren't working before.
Kids are doing fine, no issues, but they also don't know anything about what they are facing. Haven't had to deal with any emotional outbursts from them at all. They seem totally in the dark, which is good. W and I rarely argue, haven't gotten into any recent heated debates, and never do so in front of the kids, so they only see us interacting very pleasantly.
I feel for you in dealing with your kids - they obviously heard something. Moving isn't something a kid would come up with on their own. Your wife is likely lying to you - the WAWs can do it point blank to your face, so it's a good bet your son isn't making up what he said he heard.
My bottom line is I don't want a divorce, so until I do, I have to view it as God wanting me to continue to wait on what He has in store for us. I had thought about setting an end of May deadline for moving on this, but the sign I received yesterday has me holding back.
I'm planning on asking W if she would like to spend Mothers Day with us on Sunday (since it is my day with the kids) and grill out for dinner. Maybe invite my mother in law to surprise the W if she can make it.
Thanks for your prayers. I'll throw you in with the rest of my requests in the rosary tonight!
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
The fact that you are in a place to see the signs / messages how ever they come is a good sign. I take it to mean your heart is in the right place and that is all that matters to God. Peace and Prosperity to you and yours!
Married:10 years D final 8/28/08 10 minutes is all it took Life goes on and DB was no small part in growing from the Divorce!
My bottom line is I don't want a divorce, so until I do, I have to view it as God wanting me to continue to wait on what He has in store for us. I had thought about setting an end of May deadline for moving on this, but the sign I received yesterday has me holding back
I'm glad you have the strength to carry on for a while longer. I, too, pray and look for signs but haven't seen any yet. Maybe I'm not looking close enough.
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Kids are doing fine, no issues, but they also don't know anything about what they are facing.
I'm very happy that your kids are doing well. All we can do is make this as painless as possible on them. That makes me sad knowing that this is all avoidable. Again, we can only control ourselves, no one else. I have to keep my kids as my top priority.
Glad you are doing okay. I pray often during the day and I think I will try the rosary before bed myself. It can only help!
BTW, I finally learned how to use quotes. Aren't you impressed!
Not much going on here. W has actually reached out a few times to share some random things and to tell me how she is feeling physically. I just offer to help her if she needs anything to feel better.
Twice this week she referred to me as her husband, nothing earth shattering, but still shows she hasn't cut that off in her mind.
Had the kids make her a nice present for mothers day and she agreed to spend the day with us at home and cook out. Not sure if in-laws can come, but if so I will keep it a surprise. We'll see how it goes.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
In and of itself, a very nice mothers day. W came over, and teared up at the gift I had the kids make for her. It was touching. She was very moved by it.
Played with the kids in the yard while W fell asleep in the sun on the deck. She seems to be unable to watch me being a great father - almost like she is blocking it out. Never joins in on the fun. It seems to make her sad.
In laws came and it was a nice surprise. We grilled out and made a nice dinner.
Afterwards W thanked me and gave me a hug before leaving. Like one you would give a casual friend. I've had more loving hugs from men I've just met. Although I set up the whole day and made everything just right, she seemed to only want to express appreciation to the kids and the inlaws. Thanking the kids for making the gift and the inlaws for making the trip. She knew I did everything. In better days she would have expressed very heartfelt appreciation. Now she seems to have too much pride to do that.
Found out from my son in the morning that the OM was with her and the kids yesterday at her church. Kind of ruined the mood for the day, but I fought through it and didn't let it affect me.
I wish she would wake up. She knows she should fix things and that that is the right answer. But she is too stubborn to give in to what she knows is right.
All I can do is keep pounding. And try not to give up even though it seems pointless at times.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
Afterwards W thanked me and gave me a hug before leaving. Like one you would give a casual friend. I've had more loving hugs from men I've just met. Although I set up the whole day and made everything just right, she seemed to only want to express appreciation to the kids and the inlaws. Thanking the kids for making the gift and the inlaws for making the trip. She knew I did everything.
You won't get out of casual friend mode if you do everything for her when she is carrying on right under your nose.
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I wish she would wake up.
You can wait on her or be a leader. You have a choice. Chose wisely.
Is what you are doing getting you to your goals?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Glad you guys had a pleasant day even though it didn't meet your expectations. Remember, we're not supposed to expect anything from the WAW except the unexpected.
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I wish she would wake up. She knows she should fix things and that that is the right answer. But she is too stubborn to give in to what she knows is right.
You took the words right out of my mouth. I am quickly gaining speed on catching up with you in my sitch because my W won't "wake up" either. I haven't done enough to stand up for myself and my family. It is up to us to take action. You have done a whole lot more than I have in that area, so I'm not in a good place to give advice, but being Mr. Nice Guy never seems to work. Look at all you did to make a great day for your family. Did she appreciate it at all? No. You gave it a shot, I don't blame you at all. Don't be too disappointed in her reaction. To know your kids and even in-laws had a good day should make you feel good about yourself. Hats off to you-you tried. She doesn't care right now. Maybe she never will.
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All I can do is keep pounding. And try not to give up even though it seems pointless at times.
Yes. If you have the patience. I want my W to see how I've changed and learned about myself. She doesn't care. It sucks. I'm not telling you anything new. You know my sitch well, I have a lot of the same feeling that you do and have tried a lot of the same things. It hasn't worked for me, either. If your trying not to give up, take your time and be patient. Don't go out of your way to do anything nice for her. Be the great Dad that your kids know and deserve.
Continued blessings and prayers. Take care of yourself!
