M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I would suggest a gift for the two of you. Give her a card with a nice note that sets aside a day, a night, or a weekend with just the two of you doing something you have enjoyed in the past. No heavy converstation, just some alone time. No R talk, just some good times and smiles. Depends on what the two of you like - dayhiking and picnic? dinner and a show in the city? beer and paintball? Just something to get the two of you away from the day to day, and make sure it does not devolve into unending R talk. Put all the BS on the shelf for a day and get to know each other again. Cheap, easy and mutually beneficial. Just a thought.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
Have professional pictures taken of the girls and put in a very pretty frame. Well, you may not have time for that....but anything that is not about you & her as a "couple" and just the kids would be safe.
A gift certificate to a spa or beauty shop treatment....something special like that.
Tickets to Disney World(gift for all of you).
I would stay away from the traditional bouquet of flowers b/c that's just too "easy" and she would appreciate something that took some thought behind it.\
No jewelry! Not unless it is something....like involves the girls birthstones. But don't include yours & hers.
Is there anything she could attend that would be for just her and the girls? It would show her that you aren't trying to push yourself on her "time" with them and you're being unselfish with that gift.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks for the suggestions. The picture sounds good. There are a number of photos I could use.
I got her the spa package last year and she hasn't ever used them. She generally doesn't like to or hasn't taken advantage of a spa. I've encouraged her, but she hasn't.
I was thinking of getting her something to do with the girls, but because she's made them the focus of everything so far, I thought I'd get her something a little more personal.
Even when we weren't in this sitch, she was hard to shop for. The only thing she ever seems interested in are handbags. She doesn't buy much clothes or anything for herself. She has no hobbies and prefers to hang out in front of the tv.
When all this first started, she went on and on about how she was going to join the gym and get a new body, etc. So I got her a track jacket and gym bag. She went to the gym once, overexerted herself and threw up in the bathroom. She never went back. The thing that bothered me was that I saw her wearing the jacket I had gotten her and I made a comment about how it looked good on her and she didn't remember how she got it.
A gift wrapped box of common sense would be nice!
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
You mentioned that she enjoys movies. How about movie tickets? She could use them with your girls if she wanted. Or if you think that might feel like pursuit, how about a dvd? You could actually make her a little basket with popcorn and soda.
