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#1941428 02/18/10 04:10 PM
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I think that H and OW have split, though I believe that H still tries to contact her but this is getting less frequent!

This is scary as she has been there for so long. This is a completley different scenario now.

How do I play this. His replay seems to be disappearing. He remains in depression but I believe has reached rock bottom. He has also withdrawn over the past 3 weeks but appears to be creeping out again.

Any advice on how I need to play this would be very helpful

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I think the same as you have been - no expectations, no pressure. Let him initiate contact and just act the way you have been.

As you know, everything in MLC seems to take a looooong time so let him move at his pace.


"Endurance is a testament of love."

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Thanks Trusting

I am so nervous at this new scenario. Both positive and negative as I am not sure which way he will bounce now. There was a comfort in knowing OW because she was a poor choice now he is free again!

More patience needed to watch and wait.

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Originally Posted By: libbyasking
This is a completley different scenario now.


Libby you're not going to like this, but I hope you'll listen.

I've been where you are numerous times throughout this. Right now all this means very little. This is about his issues and until he resolves them, nothing will change. Just because the OW seems like she may be exiting the picture does not mean anything will change. Can it? Yes it's possible, but the OW is nothing, this is all about HIM and HIS ISSUES.

Do absolutley nothing different, think abosolutely nothing different. Carry on like you have been. Nothing changes until he changes inside.

Quote:
How do I play this. His replay seems to be disappearing. He remains in depression but I believe has reached rock bottom. He has also withdrawn over the past 3 weeks but appears to be creeping out again.


Please stop....hit the brakes with this stuff. You don't "play" anything around here. You can't possibly tell what his rock bottom is. I may sound harsh and I'm sorry if I do, but you need to hear this.

Quote:
Any advice on how I need to play this would be very helpful.


You do NOTHING different. You don't "play' anything. This is all about HIM.

Your focus and thought process NEED to be all on YOU.

Please stay the course, you are setting yourself up here.


Don't stand still.
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Trapt

Your a star.

I was so nervous about OW hitting the dust that I needed someone to put the brakes on and bring me back to reality, to get me to refocus and continue as before with DBing and GALing.

I suppose we all hope this is the big step in the right direction. Unfortunatley another OW may be coming around the bend............. I know he still has work to do for himself.

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Libby,

I agree completely with Trapt. The OW is just covering up and in a way enabling the MLC'er from addressing the underlying issues. You just need to keep moving down the path you are on....It took my wife multiple affairs to realize that the affairs weren't the answer to her problem....just how it rolls.


"Be the changes you want to see in the world"
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I just don't want to see you go through more hurt. Everything that is happening at the moment is out of your hands and thats the way it HAS to be.

You're doing wonderful and now is not the time quit or fall backwards.

I just don't want to see your thoughts lead you to stop doing what you've been doing or to have the latest news cause you to start pushing.

You're doing great!! Let's keep it that way!

Keep praying, keep living and working toward a better you. Everything will fall into place exactly the way it should. smile


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Trapt said everything I was going to.

And nicer. : )



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
And nicer. : )


LOL!

I was afraid of coming off harsh.

Libby,

I've ridden every coaster at the mlc amusement park.

They ALL suck. grin

Take a deep breath, have a seat, smile and watch it go zooming by.


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LOL! I'll second that t.


"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."
Robert Collier

"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments."
Henry Ward Beecher

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