You are doing a great job! And the only thing you can do is take it a day at a time! This whole process is not an easy one! My H and I are still together, and I still am a day at a time, there is so much work involved in getting the marriage back on track, it never stops! My H never left physically, but mentally he did...and when there is an ow it really puts a different spin on things!
I think you have say to really try and not focus on your H or marriage right now, it is what it is, and you can't do much, so focus on you, staying well and healthy and if your h is there great and if not, oh well! I know its easier said then done, believe me!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
we went to order the furniture and pick up stroller. But when we parted ways i got sad. I want more... cant help it.
5 weeks left, and i need my HUSBAND!!!!! not my mother or a friend or family...
i need my husband... to appreciate what we have created... to rub my back, to hold my hand, to calm me when i get nervouse or anxious or scared about the baby coming, one who is there to be excited with me... one who cares about me so much ... one who falls in love with me day after day for creating his son... one who appreciates how hard my body is working to make this baby... one who sees the sacrifices and loves me for it... one who tells me i am beautiful when i feel like a cow!
Babydoll (((HUGS))) you made me choked up and then you made me laugh out loud with your closing line!
Just think of this as "the worse" part of marriage as in "for better or worse. You deserve your H to be there with you and he is acting like the biggest jerk right now! But I still see your sitch turning out for the best!!
SOrry you had a bad day.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
SIL had her baby today... H sent me a text this morning. She had her baby within 3 hours completely natural! H was on way to hospital and was sad he missed it... UM HELLO!!! You will most likely miss the birth of your child too!!! Guess he doesnt realize if I feel something in the middle of the night, he will not be by my side... or wherever he may be and i know he doesnt hear the phone or anything when he is sleeping! Oh well... guess its a chance he has to take.
So happy for my SIL. It's pretty strange I am not at the hospital with them right now. FIL called me this morning to tell me she was in labor, and SIL sent me a text after the baby was born... truth is, I feel out of place. I am not part of their family any longer. It's really sad. I feel a lull today. I would have normally been there in the waiting room anxiously waiting for them to tell us the great news. Instead I am on here trying to fight the tears... and accepting that this is the reality of my sitch. Hate that I am making a day about her into a day about me... not to anyone else, but I shouldnt even be thinking this way. I wonder what is going through H's head... wonder if any of this makes our baby realistic to him... he just sent me a picture of him holding her and sending text updates w/ her name and weight. Glad he is excited...
Wonder if he feels my absence right now being with his family, which I have been a part of for 12 years... probably not.
He doesnt care about anyone, especially not me, only himself.
Wonder if he feels my absence right now being with his family, which I have been a part of for 12 years...
You bet he does!
It is very hard, BD. But once your baby is born, you might feel closer to his family again! That happened for me! Since S is half of their genes...
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
His family is not the problem, its him... His parents call the same and I have dinner plans with his cousins tonight... It's H who could care less. I want to cancel for tonight.
H kept texting me from the hospital... i was not so nice after a while... really? Why does he want to act like we are doing things normally.
Am I enabling his sick thinking by allowing him to be in my life? Every day that gets closer, it all becomes more realistic. Im afraid when the baby is born, i may be so hurt, because I dont understand how he doesnt care.
Hi BD! HUGS TO YOU. I know what it's like with the birth approaching... in my case, feelings became amplified and the stark reality harder to ignore. I know what you mean about enabling sick thinking.. My advice is, don't do anything that feels wrong or does not fit in with your principles. You will only hurt yourself. The truth is, WH is going to do what he's going to do in spite of what you do.. He's got his own operation manual. Don't live his sickness. Draw your boundaries. And to respond to your last line, I am more hurt now than before the baby was born (although stronger at the same time..) and it's also much more complicated when baby is out b/c I think the WH's feel much more 'ownership' once they arrive. Protect yourself, is all I can say. Even though I still have hope for you two!
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Went to dinner with H's cousins and aunt tonight! It was lots of fun, the food was yummy, and it felt good to be around them. they were supportive and so loving... after dinner we went back to my house and they had so many gifts for the baby. Baby Boy is spoiled already!
They did a great job trying not to speak about H, but a few comments were passed where basically they hate him for what he did. They all wish things were different between us... yeah... me too!
talked to H later on and he was happy about his sister's baby. Started to talk about our son, and the delivery and so on. Sigh. How I wish I had a magic potion to make him fall in love with me. I HATE what he did, HATE how he did it, but think he could be a GREAT father... and husband to me too, if he only allowed himself to be happy!
