It sounds like your H will be a great dad...after the birth hopefully he'll find that he needs to be a FULL TIME dad and have a family with you! I am serious. I think your sitch is very promising!
Glad you had a fun time and that his family knows how stupid he's acting!!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Just checking in, you are doing great, and what you are feeling is prefectly normal! Its a roller coaster unfortunatley...but eventually it will slow down and you will be able to get off!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
Hey BD, sorry for not checking in sooner.. Been pretty choked up about Newmama's situation. You are doing great & I can't wait for little bub to arrive! We've been through so much together, you, me, Gatsby and Newmama...just reflecting.
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Last night of Birthing Classes tonight. Went really well. H actually rubbed my back at one point, i almost passed out.
I can tell he is more comfortable around me, starting to whisper in my ear during class, laughing, skin touching, staring (dont know what thats about), and joking or trying to chear me up and just being my old H. Who knows...
During class they said something like pregnant women need their husbands both now and when their baby is born to just hug them, love them and tell their W's how amazing they are and that they are proud of them. My eyes filled with tears... couldnt have stopped it if i tried... i really tried... H leaned into me and said please dont cry. I am proud of you and i'm here for you... (yeah right... its not the same... i do appreciate the finger, but i want the whole damn hand!). So it made me a little emotional. He talks as if we are still together and everything is going to be ok.
All i know is that he needs to work at wanting to be in my life... i shouldnt have to cry and ask him to come back... he should be crying and begging for forgivness and asking if I would take him back...
We shall see...
not complaining... i see a lot of progress and things are really changing... for the better i think... but i am still floating and trying not to make anything out of anything...
I asked H over the weekend why he never came to pick up the papers... is it because you dont want them, because you think the D is a mistake...
He said Yes.
I couldnt breathe! he said but lets just focus on the baby... blah blah blah...
i added a few more comments like -it will take time and work -you could be honest w/ me it wont build my hope bc i know how hard it is to move forward and reconcile... said i am not going to plan our next honeymoon... he laughed and said YEAH RIGHT... you are not?!?! and laughed... the conversation was very lighthearted (believe it or not), i could tell H was laughing out of nerves at first. but then i said, jut be honest w/ me, its all i ask, he said i know, i will learn to communicate better.
I quickly ended it by saying i know its a lot easier to walk away and get divorced than to want to work at things and fix our M, said I agree. so lets just take one day at a time and be happy with us right now and take small steps...
WOAH!
Today he is painting the baby's room and sending me pictures via text message of the room...
he is really really involved, calls and texts all the time.
glad to hear it, BD!!! Take advantage of this bonding over the baby!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
sounding really good, BD! Not too much R talk, OK, and do as you say - enjoy the moment. I'd really like your sitch to work out! xx
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
