Moving on with my life #2

[Startingover2]

Another reason to watch what I do I guess. Be healthy and not take any risks!!

Exh called right as I was making dinner last night. I ignored and he didn't leave a message. About 15 minutes later my son was talking on his phone and by the way he was talking I could tell it was exh. My son said exh called and wanted to go hunting with my son sometime soon! WTF! Seriously!? Why? My son was like uh...ok. He didn't want to say no on the phone and I know he wouldn't go. My kids are polite and nice to exh and as much as I hate that its the best, but it makes exh think that they are all ok with what he did! Then exh sent a text asking how baby was and said he called but I didn't answer. I just replied that she was fine. Later he asked "Are you mad at me?" Boy! Let me get my list out ok? I just said "Nope..and we already had this discussion." He probably doesn't remember as it was on the weekend.

What does he really expect us to be like? Buddies? Chit chat every day? I have a hard enough time coughing out the words I do to him. He could fall off this planet and I would do backflips. Why in the he** would he give a crap if I am mad at him or not after EVERYTHING he has put me and kids through?

[S.T. _I Made It!]

My kids are polite and nice to exh and as much as I hate that its the best, but it makes exh think that they are all ok with what he did!

I think you children should be polite, but they should also speak their mind too. The next time he asks your s, and if you don't want him to go with him anywhere, and if your s doesn't either, your s should say "I appreciate you asking me to go, but I am not okay with your decisions that you have made with this family. So, I will have to say no, but thanks for asking"

When I was 16, my parents D at age 14, my dad would keep having women because he couldn't handle being alone. So he would go from one GF to the next (they would normally last a year maybe longer, until the last one he finally M to 8 years ago). Anyways, at 16 I knew that I could make the decision NOT to go stay at his house, and that is what I did. I had a very deep convo with him, the only REAL convo I had ever had with my dad. I told him that I did not believe that he should be living with other women, and that I think it what a bad example to my brother and sister, and I wouldn't be going over anymore.

I can't remember if I followed thru with my boundary or not, but I remember we both cried that day, and unfortunately he still kept living with women, but at least he knew how I felt about it.

I think your S should do the same.


oh, and why your H is curious? IMHO, part of him still wants you, part of him doesn't want you to be happy if he's not happy, and part of it is he is miserable and feels he is getting left behind. But, that is his mistake he must live with. Just expect the behavior, and be happy there isn't anymore fighting, or craziness, and for the most part he is not interfering in your life.

[Startingover2]

I wish my kids would do that to him, but they won't. They don't want confrontation I guess. I told him he should have politely said something but he was not going to. Easier to just go along. They still have him as friends on FB too.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

hmmm, well that is too bad, I'm sorry.

[Startingover2]

hmmm, well that is too bad, I'm sorry.

Yeah..its frustrating to me too, but when I push the subject they just say they don't want to be involved. I know they don't respect him at all, but still feel the need to be nice to him. My son has no intentions of hunting with him, but just to go along with him and pretend was easier than standing up.

Then my d18 just sent me this that MGF posted on exh's wall. She was laughing at how pathetic it is, but it sort of makes me mad that they are even friends with exh...I know MGF posts stuff like this knowing my kids see it.

"You are so sweet, thank you for all that you have done for me, you make me very happy! I love you! most people can't tell how great you are by the things you write, but you are wonderful! You do the nicest things and i love you more every day! :)"

I know..I know...My kids shouldn't show me stuff like that. I do agree that MGF is pathetic too, but it does bug me.

[blindsided1]

Pathetic. Just pathetic of MGF. Seriously, you have to keep in mind that she is doing it for YOUR benefit. Or anyone else that she feels threatened by that might see her posts.

I finally caught up on you..mostly. Sounds like you're doing okay. Still see you struggling, though. I am soooo much happier now that I don't HAVE to deal with him if I don't want to. He rarely calls and when he does it's usually to ask me some stupid ridiculous sexual question...like send me a picture of your boobs. Next time, I'm gonna send a picture of he and his GF and say "Here. Here's a couple of boobs for ya".

Hang in there. Keep your boundaries. I LOVE that he isn't a daily fixture in my life any longer. I can't say that I don't have "those" days. But, wow, they are so few and they go away so fast. I just keep reminding myself that God did this for a reason. There IS a reason he doesn't want me to be with him.

Happy Belated Birthday to the babygirl. Not such a baby anymore. Hard to believe they are two already (well, K has a few more months). Her "brother" is turning 1 next week. Time flies.

Love you and always thinking of you.
A & K

[Startingover2]

BS! I have missed you but you seem so happy when I see your stuff on FB. Be thankful you don't live in this little town like I do where its the same old people. I wish I could move sometimes.

I know she marks her territory by putting that stuff on FB. She is insecure and rightly so..just in denial. She thinks her "love" will cure him of his evils and his past. My D18 just put a reply to the same comment that exh's brother made: "You are so sweet MGF. Exh just needed to find that right person to bring out the best in him." Cross the one and only family member of exh's that I had respect for his values. He obviously does not.

Gotta get past this. Once again I am feeling tired and very overwhelmed with areas of my life. Its not just exh..its everything right now.

[Startingover2]

Ok that didn't make sense..

My d18 just told me what exh's brother posted above...

Either way, it doesn't matter. Just having one of those days.

[Startingover2]

Strange visit day for exh.

He called wanting to come early, but we were busy. When he did actually come for his visit he brought his d13. Fine..whatever. So he comes in and says he is dropping her off and she is going to visit with baby and he had a couple of errands to run! Huh? Then he sprints back to his truck and drives off. Ok fine. D13 is nice enough. Baby has no clue who she is anyway. D13 plays with baby for about 5 minutes and then asks if she can use our computer. Ok fine. She is on FB until exh gets back 30 minutes later with his d15. They stay 10 minutes...was all chatty and they leave.

[Startingover2]

Its ok to badmouth him...he deserves it!!

He is such a child. He doesn't know how to handle everything. He blames not being here with baby long because he has his other kids. Seems baby is always riding a close third or fourth to other things in his life. Oh well, his choices.

Baby has been saying his name lately. Not alot, but just more than normal. Between visits she didn't even mention him..now she is, but only for the few hours after he leaves or when she sees his picture. It makes me cringe and I can barely acknowledge to her that she said his name. I need to get better with that for her sake.

Baby's birthday is in 2 weeks. I really want to enjoy this time with baby, but am a bit nervous about her party night. Exh and whomever he brings (just not MGF!) along with my kids and my family will be here. My sister will be civil to him but its going to take my mother everything in her to be nice to him. I have told her more lately about what has happened and what he continues to be like and she cannot stand him. I did tell her last night she had to put her poker face on and not show what she is really feeling. Its crucial that this place is at the very least civil all the time for exh...I don't want him trying to change visit locations and have a neutral party supervise because he feels uncomfortable.

MOPS today! Very happy. Baby was restless last night. We have had high winds here last few days and I wonder if she has allergies??? Makes mine flare up too.