Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Nope! California! Why do you ask? Can you hear an accent? J/K...
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Exh is struggling financially. Not really his fault. The company he works for (his exfil) is very slow. He has been getting half the hours he used to. He is stressed and I can see it. The next question will be for me to reduce his CS. Obviously not going to. He isn't happy how things are going there. Was talking about quitting and working for his brother.
He is being strange. No more sexual advances but is being really nice. Not sure the motive yet.
Today when he came by to finish up babys insurance forms baby was happy to see him. She is getting used to him coming more often and keeps saying 'daddy! daddy!" when he is here. Today when he was leaving we were standing outside and she was waving bye to him. He sent a text 30 seconds later saying 'that makes me sad'...I jsut said me to exh, me too!
What a blow it!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
SO2...I could see this as one of two things, as you said no woman in his life now...or...he's hitting bottom.
While I would like to think its door #2, I do think its door #1...with good intentions. LOL
I really think exh wants the right things in life, he is just so messed up that he makes these knee jerk reactions based on how he is feeling at that moment.
If I did something that made him frustrated or mad, instead of talking it out or working it through he would call another woman to get that lift (self admitted). He has no clue how to work through problems and instead just makes rash decisions.
Yesterday when he was here venting about his job situation (which is a bit more than just being slow), he said I am going to work for my brother. He has tons of work. Well, that is 4 hours away, he wants to start a division here were we live of his brothers business. How does he know it would do any better? He doesn't even know that type of business. He won't quit where he is. He is just venting. He has it too good there given his issues.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
How do you find the balance of coparenting without being nasty, rude, or without anger yet not be your ex's best friend?
I can't find that middle ground. Either I hate him and the thought of him makes me sick which makes me really rude to him or we act like buddies. Hang out, talk, joke, smile, have fun.
Where is that dang middle ground?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
New guy seems really together, but is more expensive.Worth it if he keeps it looking good and sanitary.
when I first read that I thought it said.. "worth it if he keeps looking good and sanitary."
lol!!!
I really hope you have asked exh to stop coming in unannounced. that's not okay. this is a problem. you are going up and down, just like he is. you go almost dark, then you are all welcoming.
now...part of that can be okay, because you want to encourage his good behavior, but I think it's a little too much. I really don't think he should be able to just walk in. MHO.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I really think exh wants the right things in life, he is just so messed up that he makes these knee jerk reactions based on how he is feeling at that moment.
totally agree with this post.
oh, and read your last post about finding middle ground...guess I didn't need to post the above comment.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
