Hey. New thread time. Well, my sitch is about the same. Ex is still getting the kids, even though he really is not fit to. I just don't have enough of he stuff I need yet to try to fix that situation.
My S9 just flat out doesn't want to go with him and I have to make him. Which I hate. D4 is just confused. I hate trying to explain to my S why they have to go even though his dad acts the way he does. He is so upset about having to spend their whole spring break there. It does suck, since I'm off the whole time. I try to say and do the right things and I don't want my kids to have lasting damage from all of this...
I know I have effects from all of the issues and could very well be considered damaged goods. lol. The difference is I'm an adult and know enough to work through my issues.
My biggest one is being scared to trust and be open. I was the closed off ice queen for so long due to the issues with ex(then h) and constant lies and dishonesty. I have MADE myself open up and trust people again. It is hard. I have this great relationship with an absolutely awesome man, and I have been totally open with him and trust him, but boy do I have some moments of terror about laying my feelings out there on the line. It is totally worth it, but man sometimes it's scary. Not b/c of anything he has done, just b/c of my own past issues.
Anyway, kids are gone for the weekend so I'm keeping busy and getting some stuff done. Had a stressful work week and glad it's over. Hope everyone has a good weekend.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
He has had a couple of sessions with a counselor, and I was told that he is doing well. He talks to me and tells me his feelings and doesn't hold it in. He also uses a lot of humor to deal with stuff, like his mom. lol. His grades are still straight a's, socially good, sports and activities are good, and he appears to be doing well.
I was told to watch for personality changes, dropping grades, any signs of something bad, or if he withdraws or stops talking to me to bring him back. She said he appears to be coping with everything really well for someone his age.
Of course, my S is an overachiever in all areas...too bad it has to be in dealing with crazy stuff too...
I was blessed with a really awesome kid. Sad his father can't see past his own issues to realize that.
How you doing Pilot?
Last edited by SoCo; 03/06/1011:29 AM.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
So glad the kids are doing well...They are amazing little people and one thing I have found is that this has brought out a strength in my S, (this and other crazy crap), that I know will help him throughout his life.
You sound really good...:)
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Hey Cat. Good to hear from you. I am so glad right now they seem to be doing okay. I just try to make everything here as positive as possible. Sometimes that's challenging when the kids are fighting over everything acting like they want to beat the crap out of each other. : ) Luckily they're not like that all the time though.
I am good. I will say I'm aware of what this has done to me, but I work through it and am not letting it rule my decisions. I am personally (if you put aside all of the ex drama) happier than I have been in years. Really happy. I have two great kids, a job I usually love (lol), not rich but have everything I need for myself and my kids, and have somehow been lucky enough to find a great guy who's wonderful to me and my kids.
Now if the drama with him would just stop, that would be great. Not sure when that will happen though.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Well, kids are supposed to be back at 4 today for a soccer scrimmage game. It's been lightly raining all day, but it hasn't been called so we will see. Yeah, I love sitting out in the rain and mud! HAHA. Not really, but of course for my S. I can proudly say I have never missed one of his games for any sport : )
Been a longish weekend alone. Did chores, got some errands run, got a pedicure to get ready for flip flop weather (which to me is if your feet aren't freezing off). About to go to Academy and get a couple of things for S for baseball and then probably to the nail place.
I bought some girl scout cookies outside of the store, and briefly thought of buying ex a box of the kind he likes for when he brings the kids back. That thought quickly left my head again since I knew he would interpret that in his ill mind as I love him and want him back. LOL.
It's so hard to squish the niceness out of yourself towards them. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that's why I've been going through stalker hell, from being too nice for too long. I haven't been nice for a long while, and it appears to be getting slowly better. Knock on wood. Twice.
Hope everyone is having a nice Sunday.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Well, got my babies back last night. I was so glad to see them, and am not loking forward to them having to leave again on Friday for the spring break visit. I just think it stinks that they were gone this past weekend, home this week, then have to be gone this next weekend, week of spring break, the weekend that follows. Then, it will be the first weekend in April, and that is Easter, and he has them then too! I miss my babies. It seems like all of the holidays and special occasions fell his way this year.
Hopefully next year they will go more in my favor.
They stayed at his mom's the whole time and he stayed with them. The kids said he acted normal (for him). Still not great, but not crazy. He seems to be under control when he is with his mother or aunt/attorney.
I had to tell the kids that my parents had to put their 12 yo lab to sleep on Saturday night. The kids are really close to my parents dogs and they have stayed there everyday almost since they were infants. My mom has always kept the kids while I worked during the day. They took it really hard. They both cried and my 4yo especially took it harder than I expected. One of those no fun times of being a parent. I hate seeing my kiddos cry, because they don't do it very much and it just breaks my heart. We had a rough night getting to sleep last night.
Interestingly enough, after we finished talking and she was still really upset, my d wanted to call my mom and talk to her, then she asked to call my bf. He talked to her and she was doing better when they got done. My son also talked to both of them. No mention by either kid of calling their dad.I'm thinking that speaks volumes.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Oh, interesting detail I forgot to add. My S tells me in the car yesterday that he didn't think dad and Tink were together anymore. I just said, hmmm. (I am pretty certain they are). She's planning weddings and babies .
He went on to say that dad was talkig to a woman on the computer that lives in Canada, and he was calling her "baby", etc. and that they talked like boyfriend and girlfriend. Now, I retrace my thoughts to a few days ago when he text me that he might be going "out of the country" to visit a friend, and when was the kid's spring break. Hmmmmmmm. Interesting.
So, it seems that he now has Tink hanging on but has a new (at least EA, maybe wanting to make it PA) going on with some woman in Canada.
Wow. I ALMOST feel sorry for Tink being so oblivious. Almost.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
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