Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

DanF, Coach, and IDU,

I appreciate all the support. I really hope I am hired and soon. I will feel so good to have a job and some money. I hate living with so little food. I have just been doing my best.

I meet with OMW tomorrow to exchange some info., She plans to confront H very soon. I am glad. It is about time.

[LSG]

I have not been feeling well the past couple of days. I guess things are catching up to me. I am very tired lately too. I hope this passes soon. I will be glad for some real good sleep at some point. This morning I was good, but tonight I am very tired. I have not been active here because I am just too darn tired.

I hope everyone has pleasant dreams! Me too!

[idontunderstand]

Sleep tight, LSG.

It's after midnight where I am and I don't see sleep coming anytime soon. I haven't had a problem with that in a long time. Oh, well, the roller coaster continues.

Take care of yourself.

[LSG]

IDU,

You take of yourself too.

[idontunderstand]

Hope today finds you rested and rejuvinated, ready to take on the world!

I'm having one of "those" days. It's partly from only getting 3 hrs of sleep and partly from coming to grips with what I need to do. The one thing I haven't done that may shake things up. And if it doesn't? It still has to be better that this, it has to be.

[LSG]

IDU,

Thanks for kind words.

I am going to meet the OMW today soon.

I do not what I should ask her about him. I am going to give some intel to confront her husband.

I have cleared it with an A.

I am not too excited about this today for some reason.

W is getting to me a little today. I have no real A yet.

I hope the day goes better than now.

I know you will make the right decision. It will be hard, but you can do it.

[LSG]

Met W at McDonalds for dinner with kids tonight. She said she went to IC. It seems to be that she is doing this for custody reasons more than her own "betterment." Maybe it will help. I hope so. I don't whether this is good or not. It may just validate that what she is doing is okay. It is interesting that she chose to do this. She received a text from OM at 9:19 pm tonight, and I think another one too.

S had a tantrum, and said family is "messed up," and he does not know how to talk to mom about it. He told me she is "being mean to our family." I am so saddened by this. More grief for him.

I found out more good news on the job I interviewed for. The recruiter wants me to improve my PP test. He believes that they will have an answer this week. He thinks it is my turn this time. I have interviewed with the company about 5 times. I turn down a short term temporary position to interview for this. I hope I did not make a mistake. I need the money bad, but this is long-term, and I could be hired permanently in the future. The pay is good too. I need this so bad. I am confident I can do it.

I do think that kids really need me, and I will be there for them the best that I can. This will hurt S and D so bad when we do not live together.

Meeting went well with OMW, and I think she is ready to D OM. I don't know if this is either. Something has to help. I have a month before our first hearing. I have to make something happen fast I think.

W is trying harder at home to look good for the courts I think too.

I did use the credit card tonight, and I told that kids need to eat dinner, and I will take them before she comes home. I am standing up to her more and more. It feels good too.

[LSG]

Well, it has been a good night. I finished all my retesting for this position I interviewed for. I did better on one of the test, a little worse on one of them, and about the same on the other one. It is done, so I will have to discuss them with the recruiter to find out if he wants me to retake them. I am going to do everything possible for this job. I sure need it. I hope the mediation and the court hearings do not interfere. It is pretty bad to take time off after just being hired. I am really worried about this because I want this position so bad.

Well, I know I need to be hired first.

I was told I may even know this week if I am hired or not. I am so excited. This will be a big break for me. Then, I can focus on working and keeping employed for good. I never want to be out of work again. However, I do believe I gained alot and the kids did too from the time I have been able to spend with them. I have no regrets about that at all. It has made me a better person, and I am able to see different perspectives on life as a result of it. The are better for it too. I know I will be okay with or without my W I wish it were with her, so she could see that I would be the person she always wanted, and I have always known that I am capable of being with just a chance to prove it.

I hope I am not too tired today. I have a busy week this week and possibly next week too. I certainly hope so.

[cesco]

You will be ok with or without..

You have motivation right now, keep it going and things will do a 180 for you.. I can see it!

[LSG]

cesco,

You are right that I will be okay with or without her. My emotions do make it hard for me to totally detach. I am trying. I hope that things will do a 180 for me soon.

Only time will tell.

I have to remain on the course I am on now.

Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it.