Tools for Coping: Articles on Detachment et al.

[1000ships]

Many of you are familiar with the popular article on the Livestrong website about Detachment by James J Messina. But did you know that Dr. Messina has other articles--they are all part of a Tools for Coping series of books?

He originally owned a website about coping but sold it and it now partners with Livestrong. Many of his articles are on Livestrong and they are at his own website too--the address is just his name with the middle initial.

His detachment article is one of the best I've found and so yesterday I decided to find out if he had any other articles. An Amazon search turned up his out of print Coping Series books, so I then googled him and found his website. The other articles are just as good as the Detachment article and highly relevant to DBing. Here are a few of the titles--I think these are the articles published at Livestrong, but they are also on his personal website along with others.

• Accepting Personal Responsibility
• What is Low Self Esteem?
• Improving Assertive Behavior
• Building Trust
• Handling Insecurity
• Stress Reduction
• Self-Affirmations
• Improving Listening Skills
• Self-Esteem
• Handling Forgiving and Forgetting
• Letting Go Uncontrollables and Unchangables
• Overcoming Perfectionism
• Developing Detachment
• Eliminating Manipulation
• Developing Patience
• Eliminating Passive Aggressiveness
• Overview of Critical Thinking
• Handling Intimacy
• Stages of the Loss Process
• Handling Fear of Rejection
• Handling Fear of Guilt

They are all written in the same list style as the Detachment articles which makes them easy to understand.

[DiamondGirl]

Wow! That site is awesome.. Thank you so much for posting this!

[TrentC]

Woo, more stuff to read! Thank you for this.

[courageous wife]

Yes, thankyou 1000 Ships!

[TrentC]

To make it easier to find them later...

* Improving Assertive Behavior
* Building Trust
* Handling Insecurity
* Stress Reduction
* Self-Affirmations
* Improving Listening Skills
* Self-Esteem
* Handling Forgiving and Forgetting
* Letting Go Uncontrollables and Unchangables
* Overcoming Perfectionism
* Developing Detachment
* Eliminating Manipulation
* Developing Patience
* Eliminating Passive Aggressiveness
* Handling Intimacy
* Stages of the Loss Process
* Handling Fear of Rejection

I couldn't find these on the site:

* What is Low Self Esteem?
* Overview of Critical Thinking
* Handling Fear of Guilt

And a few I wanted to add to the list...

* Handling Resentment
* Handling Forgiving and Forgetting
* Goal-Setting in Relationships
* Overcoming the Role of Victim or Martyr

[TrentC]

Heh, I accidentally posted "Handling Forgiving and Forgetting" in the second section.

[TrentC]

Wow, this would be a good one for MLCers...

Handling a Fantasy Relationship

[JAK58]

Trent

You have that one right. My H has been contending with his fantasy(work OW) for a long time and still hasn't worked through his issues about her yet. I wish he could read this.

JAK

[TrentC]

You have that one right. My H has been contending with his fantasy(work OW) for a long time and still hasn't worked through his issues about her yet. I wish he could read this.

Tell me about it!

[pandora]

did someone go into my H's brain? this is so scary how it's so true!