About the kids, I can completely relate, and there is no doubt that is the hardest part.
Here is what I tried to do (not always successfully!) For the most part stay strong, smile, keep the routine going and have fun with them.
Be honest, but not so much so that it has to destroy their innocence. I said "Your Dad is struggling with some things right now and that means he is not always making the best choices for our family. You can talk to me anytime about how you are feeling. I am here for you, no matter what." or something along those lines....
When they would say things like "where is Dad THIS time?" I would no longer cover for him. I would say, "I honestly don't know. Feel free to ask him when you see him." and then we would go about our day....
more ((hugs)) my friend. That part is so very hard.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
After such a busy day, I would have voted popcorn and movie for the evening....
Glad you bounced back. Sometimes I wonder if I am a little "off" (don't answer that!) bc of my ability to go from 'low' to 'high' in a matter of hours...
Glad you got some things organized....on that note, how's the banking coming??
I like Ruled's suggestions, too. My first instinct when you said you didn't know what to tell the kids if they asked where H was, was to tell them the truth--"Kids, I really don't know where your dad is." Better than lying to cover for him and later having them angry that you lied...
Mind - just catching up. I hope S13's foot is ok! It seems like when it rains, it pours.....................The kids are the ones that lose the most in all of this. Sometimes I have to remind myself that - because they do a great job rolling with the punches (and I very often seem to be a basket case), but it does all catch up with them at times.
I agree, Ruled's advice is spot on. You can't hide them from everything. You can't protect them from the pain, but you can reassure them that you will always be there and love them - and I know you will do a fantastic job with this!
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
