Well, I've decided that "Surviving..." is such a negative term so for this thread I'm renaming it "Thriving: What are you grateful for?".In the course of trying to keep our heads above water it becomes easy to forget all the great things we still have in our lives. So here's an opportunity for us to share them with each other. Here goes:
Two amazing children Friends and family who are there for me a job where I help others a church where I feel loved football season (OK, not yet but it will come again) a great apartment near my kids getting my kids every second week a decent, co-operatvie R with my STBX a good car, W got the sh!tbox. a wad of money from the separation a separation agreement my health a Pastor whose shoulder I can cry on Divorcebusting site and friends Goat cheddar cheese Dancing With the Stars Scrabble with my kids a nearby movie theatre that only charges 6.99 per movie hundreds and hundreds of photos from the 17 years of marriage and child rearing Cooking new recipes Yoga Chi Gong Running...which I hope to get back into shortly! Books and bookstores Music Prayer
I'm sure there are many more...now let's hear yours.
3 beautiful children with whom I have great relationships a new man in my life who treats me much better than the old man enough $ to live a comfortable, happy life freedom to basically do as I please the perfect car for me a place at the lake to get away from it all and commune with nature the perfect hobby that I truly enjoy many wonderful, caring friends this site that basically kept me sane through some really bad times 2 fluffy, cuddly kitty cats I adore Scrabble the ability to travel and see new places a working computer my dad - the best dad on earth good sibling relationships early retirement fine wine
how's that??? Makes me happy just to write it down.
whatisis, Great idea for a thread. I also thought that "Thriving" would be a more apt term when I first came over here. "Surviving" almost feels like it should have the word "barely" before it!
I am filled with gratitude for:
-Life. Breath. -Two wonderful grown sons with whom I have close, loving relationships. -Two wonderful grown stepchildren who I have loved as my own for 18 years and who I still love beyond measure despite their inexplicably "cutting me off" several months ago. They, too, are in pain. -My brother, Tom, who has always been a good brother to me. -My faith. -Meditation. -My health. -Food, shelter, clothing. -Rock and Roll. -My detachment, peace, and acceptance which were lost to me for so long during the sitch. -Good, true friends. -Those you on these boards who I have grown to know, love, admire and rely upon. -The wonder of Nature -Work that I love. -Having moved Heaven and Earth to try to reach my former dear friend's heart to save and re-invent a once blissful marriage. -Reeses Pieces. -The chance to write my next chapter, create a new future. -Being an American. -Monty Python. -Over four years of effortless sobriety. -Stars. -Sunflowers. -Songbirds. -This moment.
-And I am grateful for this thread and for the realization it gave me that even in the aftermath of heartbreak I could easily write pages of things I am blessed with and grateful for.
Last edited by Gardener; 04/10/1012:21 AM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
This is key to moving forward. Many people jump quickly into a new relationship without ever being on their own. Many of our spouses did that - hence their disinterest in coming back and WORKING on their marriage (a foreign concept to many). But when we truly become comfortable in our own skin, when we KNOW we will be ok on our own - that is the best. Then we are healthy again and will do better in a new R if and when that should happen.
So right, SFO. That is what I see as my goal, to be OK with being alone and being myself. For so many years I was in a sense performing, trying to be someone my spouse would want. Thank goodness for Dbing as it got me in touch with who I wanted to be. Right now, I don't want to be trying to impress someone, trying to read their minds, dealing with their issues...I want to be OK with being me. Only then can you really be open to sharing with and bringing another into your life in a healthy way. N ow, back to our "attitude of gratitude"...it's kind of like our own Hour Of Power...without the donation requests! I am grateful that my computer is working again...for the moment.
I don't know you, but you have made my day. I'm usually the "happy girl w/the great attitude," but have been dealt a terrible blow this past month/week, after 18 months of being here, and another year, prior, of trying to make my M work. You are truly a smile. Thank you for being that today. I'll have to read about you soon.
I'm a 10-week old runner, and will do a 5k very soon... I can't do yoga as I don't focus well... just naturally multi-tasking... LOVE Scrabble Working on getting a wad of money from a separation, too.
THANK YOU!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
