I was sitting up wondering about things last night, and it made me wonder, what do others think about:
I enjoy, crave, and desire to ML because I want to _feel_ closeness.
I enjoy, crave, and desire to ML because I want to _feel_ connected.
ML makes me _feel_ loved inside in the _deepest_ sense.
I am not that concerned about getting an O, and in the past have ML without one, but rarely. It stays hard but just goes numb, probably TMI there, but anyway the questions are:
Do other HD people care that much about the O?
What about, can a W be HD but never really want to O or care that much about it?
Good ML makes me feel close, connected, and deeply loved. And yes, I care about the O. Not that it's essential, it's just that it's so good! I've always had O with any sexual encounter, no exceptions (in fact, I'm good for 5, or even 10, O's in a day, if only I could find the dream woman who was willing). Of course, I've been aroused in situations, like kissing in public, where I don't want an O, but that's still pleasurable.
So I would say an O isn't absolutely essential, but only like a chocolate cake without icing might still be good, but not as good. But anticipating the O as the culmination of the encounter is certainly my expectation, and I'd probably be frustrated if I didn't reach it.
I was reading this weekend and ran across a drug for the treatment of PE. It only vaguely belongs in this thread, as we are talking about O, but it is called dapoxetine hydrochloride brand name Priligy®. In the US it is in the 3rd stage of testing and I would imagine GA soon. GA in some European countries.
What I find annoying are all those ED drug commercials on TV! Sometimes I wonder, why can't they come up with a drug that is the opposite, one that takes your desire away so one can find true happiness and peace living with someone who is LD and doesn't want to follow along with any changes you make to have a better relationship/life. Just kidding. Sorta.
There are several such drugs, or at least ones that have that side effect. Some hardened sex offenders (no pun intended) are given a drug to reduce or kill their libido. Also, a common side effect of many anti-depression drugs is reduced libido and reduced ability to reach orgasm. Also I've heard birth control pills have that effect on some women -- don't know what would happen if a man took those pills.
I agree with you about those ED drug commercials. They should add a warning at the end of the commercial: "Be sure to ask your wife before taking the drug to see if she's interested in you having erections again". Unfortunately, there are too many cases where the wife was just as happy not to have to deal with sex anymore, and the blue pill just added to the "chores" she now has to deal with again, or worry that her husband is going to go outside the marriage to explore is rejuvinated sexual functioning. Which is why some people recommend therapy along with the introduction of Viagra to deal with the sudden changes in sexual dynamics.
I heard somewhere that sales of the anti-ED drugs fell short of expectations. Maybe they forgot to figure that maybe half of the wives of the 30 million men with ED are NOT interested in solving the problem. If I remember my stats, the incidence of low libido among menopausal women is greater than the incidence of ED among men around that age.
However, I like the fantasy of the attractive adoring woman in all those ED drug commercials, who seems to be looking forward to his renewed sexual functioning. Yep, nice fantasy!
