An alternative title could be . . . Men Ditch 'Nice Guy' Style, And Avoid Divorce
Last edited by mrbt; 04/14/1006:31 PM.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
Bill, I see this same dynamic with women in their 30s, 40s and 50s as well. It's sad, but I think it's basic human dynamics. As a reforming "Mr. Nice Guy" myself, I WISH this weren't so . . . . but I'm afraid it is.
I don't know, I've been a bit of a jerk towards women my whole life. I've dated lots but have yet to have a successful long term relationship. Balance is probably key.
everyone is losing sight of the simple fact: - women want men who are men - men want women who are women
- women do not want men who act like women
A man with masculine traits is going to be more attractive to a woman vs. a man with feminine traits. You can bitch and moan how this isn't fair and that love shouldn't be about this but that's just how it is. When a relationship deteriorates to the point of separation and divorce and women having affairs behind their husband's backs, etc. you can usually trace the failure to the attraction between the man & woman being killed by something: a man who lets himself go, isn't aggressive, secure & confident enough, a man who is always seeking approval ("Is it alright if I do this or is it alright if I go out", a lazy man, a man who cries too much, a man who doesn't stand up to his wife when she treats him poorly, a man who allows his wife to walk all over him like a doormat and disrespect him. The man may be a good parent and go to work everyday and be a good provider but that isn't very exciting and alluring, think about it. Women are very emotional and they love an exciting, take charge kind of man, not a wimp who talks about his feelings. This is obviously a generalization and we could talk about this for ages but you get the point.
The sooner you understand this and burn this into your brain, the sooner you'll be able to turn around your situations for your benefit.
I don't know, I've been a bit of a jerk towards women my whole life. I've dated lots but have yet to have a successful long term relationship. Balance is probably key.
Agreed. The trick is to be a nice guy, without being a "Nice Guy."
Strong, stable, secure in himself, knows who he is and what he wants, willing to take my side in battle, respectful of me...but I have no problems with a man who can talk about his feelings as long as the rest of it goes along with it. could be my professional background or something--but I need that piece too. However, I've learned the hard way that I need more than talking about feelings.
Last edited by hoosiermama; 04/14/1008:03 PM.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
