How are you, WN? What is happening for Father's Day?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
H showed up yesterday to take DS to a movie he didn't know anything about. DS was thrilled, got his shoes on and they left. I kinda gave him a disapproving look and he smiled and looked away trying to cover it up.
Today he asked the kids and I for pizza. The stepkids and grandkids will be there or I wouldn't even consider. Haven't seen them since Christmas:( IDK I would spend most of my time with the Gkids in the arcade. IDK IDK
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
Hey WN, I've been catching up on your thread. Been very busy. I see you have too. Great job on the house maintenance. I'm doing the same things around my house now, and it feels good to take charge and not wait on H.
I think you're handling everything just perfectly. My friends think I have patience... you multiply it ten times over. I still can't believe he's pushing the OW moving in thing. You handled it with grace and clarity, let's hope he gets some soon.
Yesterday, after a week of silence, not answering the kids calls, not a word..., he sends an email asking him if I want him to clean out the tub drains in the kids bathrooms. WTH?
Sent a bunch more emails about how to run anti virus stuff on my computer and to send him stuff so he could check if it was ok. I replied it was fine and I wasn't worried.
Tonight...an email saying how he has been negligent with stuff around the house and there were things he needs to do. "Kids computers etc".
Why's he trying to get on your computers? To install spyware? Maybe I'm just suspicious...
Good job in telling him NO!
WhatNow, it's been a long time, but I've seen this script before. It's called the "I'm all alone on Father's Day and nobody loves me, boo hoo!" script. It's filed under holidays.
When my WAH FIL lived 4 hours away in the early 90's, he'd call WH up a couple of days before Father's Day and invite himself over for a father/son round of golf followed by dinner out. Guess who got to pay for it all? Me, since WH was making grad student slave's wages.
One time we went to this quaint little cantina, where FIL held us spellbound for hours with tales of his undercover intelligence work for the military (he was Air Force). As we gobbled up the tale, he threw back the drinks, and by the end of the evening his bar tab alone was nearly $50. My WH freaked! He didn't say anything to his dad, but he ranted and raved to me for weeks afterward (WH's a cheapskate and our combined weekly income at the time was like $450). I told him to tell his father "no" next Father's Day. He did. FIL was crushed.
What'd he do?
The following year, he showed up without calling. He also had his nephew drive him the 4 hours and drop him off in our driveway and leave immediately so we couldn't tell FIL to go home. It was pathetic. It was also the last time he forced a Father's Day on WH. After abadoning his family in the late 70's, he was still feeling the sting 15 years later...
I didn't go with the kids on Fathers Day. Step kids asked where I was. Apparently they don't know their Dad is in the Ho-tel. They do know about OW but wouldn't talk to their younger sibs about it. I don't think H missed me, got plenty of attention.
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Why's he trying to get on your computers? To install spyware? Maybe I'm just suspicious...
I suspected such back in Jan, forget why.... So I got a new computer and gave my old one to DD16. Her's was a clunker and over 5 years old anyway. I really think H is concerned that the "someone" who fed OW info and "caused a lot of probs" might have hacked in. It was possible that someone was on our network but I figured out how to secure that up...i think...don't really care anymore.
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The following year, he showed up without calling. He also had his nephew drive him the 4 hours and drop him off in our driveway and leave immediately so we couldn't tell FIL to go home. It was pathetic. It was also the last time he forced a Father's Day on WH. After abadoning his family in the late 70's, he was still feeling the sting 15 years later...
That is really pitiful.
These situations are strange. H rants about his mother's behavior, yet he behaves JUST LIKE HER! He is doing to our kids what she did to him (emotionally abusive/neglectful)....I am watching for the times I act like my mother (the stuff I don't like anyway!)
Busy stuff... Spent most of yesterday at the neurologist w/ DS13. (In Jan his Left foot mysteriously stopped working) It was just a follow-up. After the nerve testing and the MRI's,no cause was found but movement returned about 3 weeks ago. Still doesn't have full range of motion yet, and may never get it all back. He tripped over it playing baseball and broke his arm in 2 places. The cast came off today and he is in a brace now. Yippee! Getting him to shower in a garbage bag was a fight! Now He can Swim!!! (It is about all there is to do here in the desert summers!)
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
Why's he trying to get on your computers? To install spyware? Maybe I'm just suspicious...
I suspected such back in Jan, forget why.... So I got a new computer and gave my old one to DD16. Her's was a clunker and over 5 years old anyway. I really think H is concerned that the "someone" who fed OW info and "caused a lot of probs" might have hacked in. It was possible that someone was on our network but I figured out how to secure that up...i think...don't really care anymore.
What kind of problems? Like calling her a flea-bitten, home-wrecking, heartless ho? How awful!
Originally Posted By: WhatNow
These situations are strange. H rants about his mother's behavior, yet he behaves JUST LIKE HER! He is doing to our kids what she did to him (emotionally abusive/neglectful)....
Alas, we repeat what we learn growing up, from how to make chili to which way to hang the toilet paper to how treat our friends and family. It takes a strong, STRONG person to go against their upbringing. MLC's are NOT strong.
Originally Posted By: WhatNow
Spent most of yesterday at the neurologist w/ DS13. (In Jan his Left foot mysteriously stopped working) It was just a follow-up. After the nerve testing and the MRI's,no cause was found but movement returned about 3 weeks ago. Still doesn't have full range of motion yet, and may never get it all back. He tripped over it playing baseball and broke his arm in 2 places. The cast came off today and he is in a brace now. Yippee! Getting him to shower in a garbage bag was a fight! Now He can Swim!!! (It is about all there is to do here in the desert summers!)
I hate to say this WhatNow because I'm not a doctor - and I may be COMPLETELY wrong, I often am - but your husband leaving in December and your son's foot mysteriously stop working a few weeks later sounds almost psychosomatic, like your guy is physically manifesting his stress over WH behavior in this way. The timing + no physical reason for it = well, lots of questions.
[My sweet, agreeable, easy-going DS 7 suddenly started talking back and using foul language about three weeks after WH moved to basement. I was shocked. I even got a phone call from his teacher, wondering what in the world had happened to our sterling little 1st Grader. DS 7 and I talked and he told me he was sad because "Daddy moved to the basement, doesn't wear his 'marry' ring or kiss you anymore, and I'm afraid you're gonna get a divorce!" Poor guy! I nearly started bawling myself. I reassured him as best I could that Daddy and I were just taking a "time out" from each other for awhile and we'd fix it as best we could. He went back to being his sweet little self after that.]
That's why that popped into my mind - and again I may be WAY off base, but it's a thought.
I'm glad some of your son's mobility has returned. Yeah! But broken limbs, casts, and garbage bags? Oh my! Too much excitement, lol!
Wow, your son has been through the ringer! Thank goodness he can at least enjoy some of his summer now...
Sorry, Red, but I don't agree that the loss of feeling is psychosomatic. I have heard this happening before- to another teenage son of a fellow teacher, actually! His foot and then his vision so of course they thought diabetes! But everything mysteriously returned to normal after several months. The doctor said that a growth spurt might have triggered it! ???
Hang tight, WN! Thanks for visiting me in my new "home."
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
