Fantastic...Back to being a man again, not some door matt that is walked all over. I'm still am not 100% sure why WAW, walked away...she says its re-occuring problems, I asked what are the problems and she says,'I can't think of any right now.' or that I wasn't as good a father for D before S was born, 3 years ago... but now I'm moving on with life, having fun doing things she wouldn't or couldn't do.
After a long weekend at a cozy house on Lake George with Krissy, kayaking, boating and playing at the beach...Tuesday was 4wheeling and watching a great sunset from ontop of a mountain and having T-Bones with Marcia. Yesterday was fun w Susan, went for a long motorcycle ride along Lake Bomoseen, Lake Hortonia and the having dinner on the water. Tonight, is Danielle who wants to goto dinner at a new restaurant and then just kick back w a movie...Shelley is in town this weekend and I will she her Sunday afternoon while kids are at Nana's...
But, the best day of the week will be tommorrow!!! That is when I get my kids back for the week...We will start off by going camping from the fri morning until sunday...then its back to life as usual, daycare, school and work. But at the end of the day we are together and having a great time...either in the pool, riding bikes, painting, playing w the dog or just being together!!!
I have been dark for 3 months or better now. I'm not sure if she is still w OM... but as of last week she wanted to start spending time as a group...All 4 of us. I offered this months ago but at that point she had no desire... I agreed and said it would be good to see what happens.
We have been together, as a group twice so far, brought kids school shopping and to dinner last night and brought them to the county fair last week. We all had a great time...on both outings
My question is how do I proceed with out screwing things up...play hard to get or just go w it and see what does happen...
I do still love my wife more than anything!!! I just don't want to make the bone head moves!!!
Hey Hopeful, just read through your sitch. It is amazing to me that you have done so well. You only have 4 pages of posts and I have been here a shorter time and have 3 separate threads with probably 100 pages between them. Sounds like you were able to get to a healthy point rather quickly. I am envious of all your "friends".
As far as how to proceed, accept some invitations, but not others, especially at first. You are too busy with your own life to accept them all. You have things to do. If you jump right back in, she will get cold feet again. I don't know this from experience, just from reading the DR book and watching other people's situations. Continue to have your own life until you are ABSOLUTELY SURE she is committed to reconciling.
Others will have better and more thoughtful advice for you, so stay tuned. Just don't move too fast with her.
My W filed in June and we just got separated 9/1. The amount of support I am paying her is ridiculous and enables her to do whatever she wants pretty much. I haven't talked with her about anything but the kids or splitting our stuff for the last 2 weeks. Need to start finding some dates to improve my outlook. Hope I am as successful as you were!!
Be coy. Be catnip. Make her pursue you. Don't pursue her at all for now.
Thanks for the post, very helpfull and on the same track I thought of. I am going to play coy and just be myself. She seems receptive to at least wanting to try being a family now...Our Wedding Anniversary is 2 weeks from today...Maybe she is thinking of that.
Maybe she is just down and needs me to pick her up again...she starts her second job soon and that will be it for her free time. Her savings acct is at zero and her other acct can't keep up w her debt at the current time...
I'm sorry you have just become seperated...My W wanted to file for D right away but I was able to talk her out of it...If I hadn't we would be done right now...
As far as the women are concerned, they all know my sitch and also know I'm not looking for a committed relationship...But they do like to have fun!!! They have helped me out tremendously w myself esteem and my willingness to Gal. And now I'm at another cross roads in my head...If I'm trying to get back w my W should I keep all the ladies? I would at the drop of a hat, tell each one thanks and walk away...IF my WAW would do that too, along w no more FB and texting other guys...which I know she could do...if she wanted to...Which I hope isn't too far away. On the last outing w the kids and I, we talked about one of my friends whom broke up w his GF of 2 yrs and how they reconciled and are happier than ever...She commented "thats great!" and looked at me w a smile...
Keep your chin up and walk proud...We'll get through this!! And We'll be a lot stronger and smarter too...
Well, its offical...she told me she really does want to try to save our M. She has broken ties w OM about 2 weeks ago and we are looking into MC. I am going to make my calls sometime soon to my OW and let them know...I hate to burn bridges before getting to the other side but I just know everything is going to work out...
The past week we spent 4 days together and had a great time in doing so. Tonight we talked on the phone for an hour and a half and laughed and remminissed on bunches of stuff...
She is very remorsefull and cried a few times as she apologized for putting us all thru this Hell...The Kids are elated and their demeanor changed already...
well I would still like some advice on how to proceed w out screwing up...
Great news VT. I hope I end up here someday. All the best to you and let us know how things progress. I am still trying to learn how this is done. I'm very happy for you and pray that I can find your strength.
All I can say is, take of yourself and the kids the best you can everyday. You can't make some one love you, so don't try. Get on w getting on, make new "Friends", have fun and be confident. If you love some one let them go and if they come back it must be true...
We are not there yet, but on the phone last night we talked about what we each wanted for the future...Our lists were the same, except for a few minor wants we each had...but those were small in the big picture...We are both excited to try and get back to where we were and then move ahead better and stronger than before...
She has a tendancy to keep bad thoughts or problems bottled up inside...I have a problem listening and wanting to fix things in a speedy and efficent way...We both have to communicate better...listen and speak in turn, get back to the roots! Sounds simple and I know its going to be hard and very well worth it!!!
Thanks DB for helping me get through the hardest and most painfull expirience EVER!!!
Her parents are a whole another story!!! The way they welcomed the OM as a replacement for you shows lack of respect to almost utter contempt for you!!! Keep them at a distance!!!
We are both excited to try and get back to where we were and then move ahead better and stronger than before...
She has a tendancy to keep bad thoughts or problems bottled up inside...I have a problem listening and wanting to fix things in a speedy and efficent way...We both have to communicate better...listen and speak in turn, get back to the roots! Sounds simple and I know its going to be hard and very well worth it!!!
I am glad to hear you guys both ar ewilling to work it out
