Journaling. I am still in anger mode and am just taking it day by day and taking care of me and unborn child.
So Tuesday I had DB coaching session. I was actually going to cancel but since I already paid for the sessions, I called. What the hell, right? DB coach told me to call and thank him for being concerned of me driving in the rain on Saturday. Didn't want to do it, but the fact that I paid $390 for coaching sessions made me feel like I needed to ...ha.
So Tuesday afternoon I called him and said "Hey H. I heard the voicemail you left me last night about Saturday. I appreciate your concern but I'm ok. He asked how I was and I said Good. WEll, I don;t want to keep you from whatever you're doing. Again, thanks for the concern. Have a great day"...and then hung up.
Then Wednesday morning I check my bank acct,(I do this every day out of habit) and noticed that H's unemployment hit my bank acct instead or his unemployment card. IT IS LIKE I JUST KEEP ON GETTING PUNISHED. That night I called him and told him what happened, that I western union'ed the money up to him and gave him the reference number. He apologized for loud music but that's all he does now at nights is listen to music (like I care !!!!). Then he stayed quiet and said. "Ummmmmm....Cousin's G's girlfriend is a lawyer and she knows a mediator up in Albany if you want to got that route." I said, Well H, I told you to file. If you want to got that route, then go for it. I will get my own L. He said mediator would work for both of us. I then replied, Well get me more info about this. It's late and I need to sleep. Have a good night. (Next convo he brings up about divorce, I will AGAIN make it clear that I will not pay for filing and will also tell him I will not pay for mediator. I just realized he just wants it to be less expensive for him but honestly we have NOTHING joint and nothing to mediate. All he has to do is file separation agreement).
He called me 10 minutes later and said thanked me for being quick with the money. I said you're welcome and then he said ok W, get a good night's rest. I know you need all the sleep you can get.
Thursday night he calls me at 11pm and leaves no message. Then he called again at 12:30am(Friday morning). Left me this message: "Hey. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Wanted to be the first one to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Hope you had a beautiful day. Remember, it's your day. Have a great day. Hope to speak to you soon."
Friday was my birthday and I had a great time.:)
He left me another message Friday at 9:30pm. "Hey. I called you last night. I don;t know if you saw that...well I'm sure you must have. I guess call me back if you want. Alright bye". He sounded a little annoyed. WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO FEEL ANNOYED?!?!
Saturday morning, I called him and told him I received his messages. He said ok. I said I appreciate the birthday wishes. He said ok. I said, ok well thanks you again. Bye.
Yesterday was Father's Day and my dad sang me a song in front of the whole family. He is already the best grandfather in the world to my niece and I know he will also be to my baby!
That's my last few days in a nutshell. Taking it day by day and slowly transitioning myself to becoming a successful single parent.
M:27 H: 33 M:10/07 T:9 yrs H moves away for drug recovery: 3/2010 ILYBINILWY & wants D:5/02/10 Confirmed OW:5/21 Told MIL:5/25(only concerned about H's recovery) Told FIL:5/28(will speak to him)
H called and left no message last night. He called again tonight and left a message:
"Hey. What's going on? Wanted to see how you are doing. Give me a call when you have a chance I have a couple of questions...I got the money you sent me...just wanted to ask you a few questions..So give me a call when you have a chance..hope you're feeling well"
UGH........ I am 99.9 percent positive he is calling to ask me for money. I'm assuming he will call again tomorrow and I am going to lose it on him. I see that the Senate is holding up employment extension so he's not currently receiving unemployment right now. I'm pretty sure he's going to again ask me to pay to file. ughhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Last edited by papayachic; 06/24/1002:16 AM.
M:27 H: 33 M:10/07 T:9 yrs H moves away for drug recovery: 3/2010 ILYBINILWY & wants D:5/02/10 Confirmed OW:5/21 Told MIL:5/25(only concerned about H's recovery) Told FIL:5/28(will speak to him)
Tell him that you are concentrating on your needs and the baby's right now so he needs to back off and give you some space.
I would send this as a text message so you don't get sucked into a R talk where your emotions could get the better of you.
I will ABSOLUTELY be standing my ground!!! But, I will pick up phone call tomorrow. It has more of an impact on him when I say "no" by phone than by text lol...
If you can read my last few entries, I am GAL'ing because it's best for me, my baby and our future. But at this point, I do not know if I'm DB'ing anymore. I AM A GREAT CATCH!!!! WHY am I putting up with this?!?!?!
But then I know...it's because I love him. But I don't know what's left to save.....as everyone has been saying....my family, friends and even people on here...he's not worth it....
I wish there as a pill I could take so I could just completely emotionally detach
M:27 H: 33 M:10/07 T:9 yrs H moves away for drug recovery: 3/2010 ILYBINILWY & wants D:5/02/10 Confirmed OW:5/21 Told MIL:5/25(only concerned about H's recovery) Told FIL:5/28(will speak to him)
I told him to call me back in 20 minutes since I just got back from yoga and was going to take a shower
Calls 45 minutes later..Here's the convo
Me- Hey..How are you? H- Good. Me- Great H- How are you Me- Good H- Well.. I could be better. Just went back and forth with Susan through texts. I was supposed to get paid 1k but apparently she isn't going to pay me. She said it was a misunderstanding. I guess it's my fault for not putting it in writing. (This cousin's wife of horse farm he was initially staying at. of course he was not getting paid. He was working in exchange for room and board ) Me- oh H- and now I've been working odds and ends w cousin Gordon. He hasn't paid me either. He lets me use his truck but I've been putting gas in it. I swear my friends are helping me more than family. But I guess that's in the cards for me now. Me- oh. I can only imagine how you must be feeling H- and there are a few jobs I want to apply to but I have no computer to email resume and no car to get to job Me- Well I'm sure you'll find a way H- So you're ok? Wanted to see if you were feeling fine Me- Yup. I'm great. While I have you on the phone. I need you to call unemployment and get a copy of 2008's 1099g. Just received a notice in the mail today and we are getting state audited for 08 H- WHAT? What happened? what did you do? Me- You know me. I do everything legit. I'm going to take a look at everything tomorrow but I already saw I do not have a copy of your 1099g so I need you to call NYS and order that. H- I claimed and I haven;t been receiving money Me- Well, I know the unemployment extension is being voted against the last few weeks H- WHAT? you mean I'm not getting any more money Me- I don't know about your situation. All I've read is that the extension keeps getting voted down H- I NEED you to get me unemployment's number now Me- I'm not home. out for coffee H- you know what forget it. forget everything Me- Well is there anything else i can do for you? H- FORGET it. I gotta go you. You know what. Forget it. Im GLAD (all sarcastic) you're doing GREAT Me- Well H. I'm gonna go. Goodnight. Click
ughhhhhhh.....then he called his mommy and spoke to her for 20 minutes. I'm SURE she'll be sending him money. Then he called OW. left message. Let's see if they start up again....ughhhh
All in all, I did ok on the phone call
M:27 H: 33 M:10/07 T:9 yrs H moves away for drug recovery: 3/2010 ILYBINILWY & wants D:5/02/10 Confirmed OW:5/21 Told MIL:5/25(only concerned about H's recovery) Told FIL:5/28(will speak to him)
