Not sure why I came on here, but I did and your post kinda hit me.
I think you need to chill. Big time. Don't second guess yourself so much - just relax.
Age differences ... well, I've dated older, same age, and younger. It really depends on the person, so why get wrapped up in numbers?
You mention intense conversations re: D. But what's the point of dwelling on past pains? We all learn, but we don't need to keep the past alive. Learn and move on. If you guys have intense conversations, just make sure they're future oriented. Don't spend your time focused on the past, IMO. Healing means building something new, not rehashing what's happened.
Tawny - man, she's a friend to you. Appreciate that. She's not stupid. She knows you're human. And she relates to that. Appreciate the connection you two have.
Great - you're going to the gym. Something about exercise chases the demons away. At least, that's been the deal for me. Not always easy, but you do what you can do. And Atlanta - be open. Why not? Life is a series of open doors and you can either try them out or you can stay in the room and never venture forth. But the opportunities usually aren't in the room. And quite frankly, trying stuff out can be fun, as long as you can be open to it.
Wassup Lodo, Relaxing isn't that simple for me. I am not that hung up on the age, I was merely acknowledging that I know I go younger because it is less complicated. I am not sure that it is possible to go easy on myself Lodo, I don't know if I have that gene.
I am not hung up on it, more just trying to express what is going on in my head and hoping to prepare someone else for the same bullchitt. Recovering from a broken marriage is not simple and there are a lot of side affects. I am still experiencing some of those and trying to work through them.
I think that no matter how well we work through the divorce and try to improve ourselves, there will be lingering side affects that surface as we experience new things. I would like to find someone again, I would like to want to settle down again, and I would like to be in love again at some point. Right now however I am having a hard time with all that and still linger on what happened the last time I was in that place. Hopefully it will pass and I can move forward.
How goes it everyone... I havent posted in a bit, the waters were calm. I guess the red skies and calm seas should have forewarned me of the oncoming storm.
Email from Carrie at 11:20pm on a Wednesday.....
"Ian,
There is something that you may need to know. Tom and I got married. I have not told Tawny, as she specifically asked me not to discuss it with her if it ever happened. Please direct any comments or questions about this to me, as I don't want Ross to feel that he is in the middle of anything.
Carrie"
So it has happened, finally. The dumb bitch married the OM, subsequently causing severe damage to any progress her and Tawny had made. The amazing, and interesting thing is that I could give a crap less that she married him, they deserve each other, I am however extremely concerned about my kids now. I do not believe this is going to go well. I think that the calm that my son has shown throughout all of this is about to end as he has expressed his feelings on this situation and they have not been good.
AND......
Why the fuckkkk would I ever direct any questions about it to my son? She is so ignorant and self absorbed that she cannot even think clearly through the shitstorm that she has created. Once they choose the path of lies and deciet, they never change.
Ian - It has been a long time, and I was hoping that no news was good news. I am sorry to hear about the turn of events, and how she told you (after the fact). Also seems that Ross already knew/she told him before you were informed, so he has already been placed in the middle.
I know that you are a great dad and will continue to be there for both kids, no matter what. We can't make our children's other parent be better people, unfortunately....
I feel for you and for the situation. I fear the same will be happening here before too long. And I agree the hardest part is knowing ho much it will upset the kids. Of course you wouldn't pump Ross for information. Wtf? Sheesh.
So sorry it has come to this. For you and for your kids.
I understand the pain you must feel for your kids. They have a selfish mother. But they have a good dad. A dad who puts the past aside and moves on. A dad who cares about their hearts being broken by the insensitive things their mother has done.
Even though she may have destroyed the bond between her own children, there is always a silver lining. Your kids may now have developed an attitude to never do what their mother has done when they themselves have their own families.
Continue to be the stable rock for your kids. Take the high and moral road. And dont be shocked at what Carrie continues to do - it is in her nature.
There is something that you may need to know. Tom and I got married. I have not told Tawny, as she specifically asked me not to discuss it with her if it ever happened.
Oh wow. That is cold. Why wouldn't she want to tell her own kids she got married? That is crazy.
Help your kids learn those words of wisdom from DB: You can't control what someone else does, you can only control how you respond. It works for whacko parents/ coworkers/ children/ strangers on the street just as well as it works for whacko spouses!
Hang in there and be happy! Rob
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
