OK, I am moving over into this forum instead of the "Surviving" forum because STBXW is talking about delaying D for 30 days (if it doesn't cost a bunch of money), claims to be done with EA/OM as of... LAST WEEK (!), and wants to try "going out" from time to time.
To be honest, I don't trust this sudden conversion, and now I feel like the WAS.
I want to do the right thing, but to be honest... at this point I am uncertain what that is.
Thoughts from those who have been here before?
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
To be honest, I don't trust this sudden conversion . . .
GOOD. She has not yet EARNED your trust. Then you're in better shape than most!
Is she willing to send him a no-contact letter, the content of which is to be approved by you and it's to be delivered/mailed by you (so that nothing is added or subtracted), and agree to FULL TRANSPARENCY with you?
Is she willing to send him a no-contact letter, the content of which is to be approved by you and it's to be delivered/mailed by you (so that nothing is added or subtracted), and agree to FULL TRANSPARENCY with you?
Ha! Their primary communication methods were email/facebook and her new cell phone.
According to her, they have been fighting and nasty (she sent me copies of these emails), and he blocked her emails/FB.
I did suggest she block email and phone number, but I have no way to verify that this is done or stays done.
She says she has decided he is a creep. No suprise there.
She is living in an apartment somewhere about 10-15 mins from here (have no idea where).
She wants to go see a movie together Saturday afternoon. She had me meet her for ice cream (she paid) a couple of days ago.
That's that whole R/non-R thing.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 07/22/1002:16 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Is she willing to send him a no-contact letter, the content of which is to be approved by you and it's to be delivered/mailed by you (so that nothing is added or subtracted), and agree to FULL TRANSPARENCY with you?
Ha! Their primary communication methods were email/facebook and her new cell phone.
According to her, they have been fighting and nasty (she sent me copies of these emails), and he blocked her emails/FB.
I did suggest she block email and phone number, but I have no way to verify that this is done or stays done.
Well, you wanted advice from someone who had been thru it (and I've also studied HUNDREDS of others who have), so this would be it: This is no time to put the fox in charge of the rules to safeguard the hen house.
If it were me, I'd love the chance to start dating her, but ONLY if she'd ended it with OM. And I would ONLY use as proof of that a full no-contact/transparency system, NOT her word for it.
If you're not yet prepared to ask for this, there IS one other response/method that can be successful, and that is to simply say "Hmmmm, I don't know. Not sure how I feel about that anymore. I'll have to think about it."
And then go back dim.
If she's sincere, she will continue to pursue you, and try to convince you.
If it were me, I'd love the chance to start dating her, but ONLY if she'd ended it with OM. And I would ONLY use as proof of that a full no-contact/transparency system, NOT her word for it.
But that's just me.
Oh, I am with you. Just trying to figure out how to implement that under these conditions or if I even want to bother with this M at all anymore.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
