Need some more advice. My wife text me this AM about another # she found looking at my cell bill online. I made sure I had all her PW's after the affair and have checked them up until about 3 weeks ago. I know that the affair has been over. I dont care to look anymore.
Now my quesion is do I need to keep answering her questions? The only time she shows intrest she when she is curious. Its funny the # is one of her friends and she doesnt realize it. The same friend 9 weeks ago that told her that leaving me was a huge mistake.
When I didnt tell her who is was, she said I will just call it. I said why? She said she wanted to know. Then after I refuse to tell her, it went to I really dont care, I just wanted to see if you would tell me. So I texted back that I was no longer interested in playing games or pissing contest and that I was only concerned in saving the marriage and the kids family only if she was. I have not heard back.
Do I need to change my passwords? Or should that remain open? If I change mine she will change hers. She is now fully understanding that Im almost fed up. She still as of now doesnt want to let go and will not say why she doesnt. She doesnt think we can "get back close" again. This is what Ive been told before since my last post there has been no "R" talk.
Why were you so passive agressive? Why didn't you just tell her the number? If she is being transparent with you, why aren't you doing the same?
Why would you change your passwords knowing she would change hers? How would that improve the M?
Everything you do, you need to always ask yourself: Is what I'm about to say or do bring my S closer, or further away from me?
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Why were you so passive agressive? Why didn't you just tell her the number? If she is being transparent with you, why aren't you doing the same?
Becuase they only time she cares is when there question mark is there. I have to find out things, she doesnt come out and tell me. I found out through a friend she went out to a bar with her mom Saturday night. Granted that same person seen her from when she walked in to when she left and said she only talked to her mom and her moms female freind, but is a bar a good place to be after a affair and being sperated? I told her if she was interested in doing things like that we would just stop now becasue thats not how u get trust back. If she would of told me before hand that would be OK but doing in and not saying anything is BS. IMO She said she wouldnt go back.
If you have nothing to hide, I wouldn't change the passwords. One time, she was rummaging around my computer and I came home to delete a letter that I wrote, which she had already seen. She said, go ahead, change your password, lock me out of your life. I said, I am not going to do that.
Then, when I found out about OM, she changed her passwords, but I didn't change mine. Later, she was reading some e-mails of mine and found some info that she didn't like about OM (He found another woman to have sex with). I found out she read them and asked her about it. She said, yeah, I read them, but there was nothing interesting in them anyway and I won't be reading them anymore. I told her that she could read them anytime she wanted, because I have nothing to hide.
On the other hand, if you have separated your financials, I would make sure that those types of passwords are secure.
Just think about what it is that you don't care if she knows and what you don't want her to know.
Don't worry about what she does. Only worry about what you do and what you can control. Let her go do whatever it is that she wants and act as if you don't care. Confronting her on these issues will not change her mind. That has to come from inside her. I too obsessed about what my W was doing for too long and it hurt my sitch even more. Walk away. Let her go.
God grant me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change, To change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
It's truly amazing how much GREAT advice we can give and how clearly we can see everything when it's not our own sitch, right? LOL.
I think that all the time when I read others posts here. It's so easy for me to see what others should do, but in my own case, I do the exact opposite all the time. Damn heart!
