If he is only abusive in private then don't talk to him in private... Always have someone on the line who is willing to confirm his abuse if it happens.
This will help you minimize the abuse.
Are there no friends or family or anyone supporting you there at all?
My parents are nearby and are supporting me through this whole process. I have spoken with them regularly whenever abusive situations arise. They have placed the retainer fee in the lawyers hands. I have invited them to attend S's birthday dinner tomorrow night to keep the peace.
...oh especially after the night H was asking F what drugs the doctor gave him for his pain - "anything good?" he smirked. And then he asked me for access to my parents drug cabinet so he could sneak some out.
And last halloween when we were all trick or treating with S and my father (67 y.o.) asked if we could drive down to the neighborhood because of an ailing foot - and H angrily snapped "nobody's driving anywhere." And like the lame wilted flower I am, I cowered. I've always regretted not standing up for my father that night.
And last thanksgiving, after a day and night of sobbing in arguments, H, S, and I show up at the restaurant to meet my parents. I was sullen, couldn't eat, barely spoke. My parents were concerned. All WH took away from that day was wondering why my parents "were acting different" and "didn't seem to like him" anymore - as if my feelings meant nothing and all he could think of was his own image in their eyes.
So now that I have had major pullback - still can't get myself to go NC - WH is pushing. He's pushing to have "talks" about many issues, some business like (the house, our son) and some personal - he wants more time with S and "if OW happens to be there so be it". I got sucked into the convos even though I know better. I had a horrible dream about H and OW and I'm really hurting. Help.
H4L - Breathe. You can do this. You have been through this before, you know that you deserve better. Think of your son, focus on him when you start going against what you know you should.
(()) GW
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
