Thanks for responding MIL. I appreciate getting some feedback on these issues.
Originally Posted By: DumpedforMIL
what is your reason for creating a profile?
I created the profile so that I could start to meet some new women. I'm not a big barfly and don't really meet new women in my day to day routine. I am tired of being alone and even just talking with someone who seems interested would be validation and an ego boost for me. I think it would take my mind off my sitch and help me feel better.
Originally Posted By: DumpedforMIL
what are you looking for?
I am not really sure what I am looking for exactly. An honest, caring person to spend some time with. Someine to make a connection with. Nothing too serious at this point. Just someone to have fun with. Maybe experiencing and learning from some new women may help me define what it is that I am looking for. I really haven't known anything other than W. I was young when we met. Never had any serious relationships before that.
Originally Posted By: DumpedforMIL
where are you at emotionally and mentally?
Emotionally I still struggle with this at times. Mostly I am in a pretty good place, but I tend to slip back into the hole from time to time feeling sorry for myself. Mentally I keep telling myself that I need to recover and get on with life. This isn't the end of the world, even though it feels like it at times.
Since we have separated, there is very little contact between us and there is no pursuit from either end. I try to be cordial and that is it. I haven't forgiven her yet, but I am not really angry anymore either.
Originally Posted By: DumpedforMIL
btw, what are these sandwiches you speak of?
Ahhhh......sandwiches! It is a metaphor for making love. I think Pinhead (not exactly sure who) started it a while back and it kind of caught on with a few of us. I haven't had a sandwich in a very long time and I am famished! I really miss having those.
I don't know, part of me struggles with this because I am not divorced yet, but she has filed and made it abundantly clear to me that she isn't gong to change her mind, so I might as well consider myself divorced, right?
Also, even if I want this to still work out, isn't it kind of pathetic for me to just sit here and wait for her? That is not showing her that I am able to move on and be fine without her. I have read on the boards that dating is what finally turned it around for many guys here and if not, at least they were heaapy enjoying time with other women.
I'm so confused. Maybe I would find someone better than W or at least more compatible with me.
Ahhhh......sandwiches! It is a metaphor for making love. I think Pinhead (not exactly sure who) started it a while back and it kind of caught on with a few of us. I haven't had a sandwich in a very long time and I am famished! I really miss having those.
I don't know, part of me struggles with this because I am not divorced yet, but she has filed and made it abundantly clear to me that she isn't gong to change her mind, so I might as well consider myself divorced, right?
Also, even if I want this to still work out, isn't it kind of pathetic for me to just sit here and wait for her? That is not showing her that I am able to move on and be fine without her. I have read on the boards that dating is what finally turned it around for many guys here and if not, at least they were heaapy enjoying time with other women.
I'm so confused. Maybe I would find someone better than W or at least more compatible with me.
Thanks!
Dan, I don't think you're confused at all. I think dating for you is fine, you have realistic expectations, and you're not doing anything you'll regret.
And I love the fact that my contribution to the boards lingo is being spread far and wide!
I haven't followed your sitch from the beginning but saw this:
Quote:
I haven't forgiven her yet, but I am not really angry anymore either.
Once you do forgive her, you will feel better.
Also I notice something about a dating site.
I did this awhile ago once I thought my M was over. It does give you confidence. The attention from new W gives that "magic" feeling.
For me, it may have opened my W eyes up. Too early to tell but I think it definitely had an effect on her once see found out I was "dating".
Do it for the right reasons..............not just to get a sandwich.
Last edited by gr8 day 2B alive; 10/07/1007:21 PM.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
All I can say is I don't think I can eat another PB&J.....
After the bomb, I decided to just look at all the different sandwiches and see what fixings were available...holy cow, I never imagined how much variety is out there....
Current GF is an amazing cook.....
You may want to pick up another book Radical Forgiveness...
