Yes, it is business, but unlike in an auto accident situation, we presumably have a shared interest in the kids. If we spend five figures on lawyers, that dramatically reduces what we can offer the kids.
I don't know what discussions she's had with her lawyer. I do know her well though, and I know that she'll twist and exaggerate what she tells him in order to get him to reflect back what she wants to hear.
Yep, Future, your W and my XH are two of a kind. And if you imply for one second that she's out of line (i.e. not a good person), she will get very, very nasty. So, maybe you need to tell her that its in both of your interests to get things over with quickly for the kids, etc...
I'm so thankful that I live in Kansas (ha, who would have thunk it! its more progressive than New York--despite creationism in the schools!). At the time, it seemed wrong that it was so easy to get a divorce...like selling a car or something, but now I'm thankful that it was fast, and I got it over with...if I were still going through that mess it would feel like a huge, huge cloud. Future, can you just press forward with your L? Have him/her move forward with everything? Yuck. I feel really bad for you. In the end, I gave more than I wanted, but my sister told me to look at as buying a new life. That if you looked at that way, it makes the money seem less important.
