I just read a review of Black Swan and it said it is very good -- Portman's best work -- and very disturbing.
Yes! I cannot wait to see it! Wonder if it will get wide distribution!
Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
Yum, tacos! I have not had the queso dip (or anything else) at my favorite Mexican place in the past 8 weeks. Tomorrow, queso time...
Mmmmm queso!
Originally Posted By: v1olin
Why does it take so long for the WAS to think clearly? I understand your comment about you being CONFUSED.
Million dollar question, Violin! Glad to hear you are doing better.
Well I have lots of studying coming up and will be going downtown this weekend for some fun. Haven't heard from stbx since Tuesday, the day before our D was set/given a date, but I guess I don't really care either.
Why does it take so long for the WAS to think clearly?
v1olin,
I have no clue. I received my bomb two months after you and have been separated for a long while now. We are just getting to the D now, and it due to her stress and blaming me for all of her stress. I've been there for her at all times (I know I haven't dropped the rope for her), but I just felt this is the way that I should do it. I think walking away from her would've just reinforced things she was saying at the time.
Looking back, maybe I could have done some things differently or better, but I can't dwell on that. Time to D so her stress can be alleviated. D from me = no stress.
Good luck to you v1olin!
M:39 W:37 Together: 16 years Married: 11 years Bomb: May '09 (ILYBNILWY) Moved out: Nov '09 D: 10, 8, 4
My wife is the same unhappy person she was when I left. My absence has not made her life any better. It helps me realize that largely, I was not the problem. I think somehow in our heads there's a part of us that buys into their bs and feels maybe, just maybe we played a large part in their unhappiness. In my case, WRONG!!!! My wife continues to fill her life with stressful situations and just carries on being the self centered angry stressed out person she was before. At least I don't have to face that crap day in and day out anymore. That's a blessing!
I can relate. I know that I'm not the cause of her stress. I've been gone for a while. The problem resides within the WAS. They won't get it until they look internally, but unfortunately that's one of the hardest things anyone could ever do. It's always easier to blame someone else for your unhappiness. That isn't to say we didn't contribute to the problems in the relationship, but we are not completely to blame for the situation.
My wife seems to think the D will be a cure-all. I'm sure the next step, once she realizes it hasn't helped is to find someone else. Who knows how many failed relationships it will take for her to figure it out, but I'm not likely to be there. I was there all the way up to the D. Now it's time to completely move on.
M:39 W:37 Together: 16 years Married: 11 years Bomb: May '09 (ILYBNILWY) Moved out: Nov '09 D: 10, 8, 4
My wife is the same unhappy person she was when I left. My absence has not made her life any better. It helps me realize that largely, I was not the problem. I think somehow in our heads there's a part of us that buys into their bs and feels maybe, just maybe we played a large part in their unhappiness.
Originally Posted By: AtTheEnd?
I can relate. I know that I'm not the cause of her stress. I've been gone for a while. The problem resides within the WAS. They won't get it until they look internally, but unfortunately that's one of the hardest things anyone could ever do.
That isn't to say we didn't contribute to the problems in the relationship, but we are not completely to blame for the situation.
My wife seems to think the D will be a cure-all.
You both make excellent points. It's true. My stbx constantly said he was unhappy before I left, even a few days before I left he said he "couldn't remember the last time" he had been happy. He said that in August of 09. Just last week he was saying he's not happy. He always said he needed "peace" and he said he hasn't found it yet.
So yes, it takes two to contribute to the demise of a M, that much is true. But until you start owning your half, you will get nowhere fast. And it seems a lot of these folks say they are unhappy and later realize (hopefully), it wasn't the M that made them unhappy, it was something within them.
Yep, it is all very sad. My X does appear to be the same self centered, high acheiving woman that she was when we split and still not happy. I am doing fine though. I just want a hot date for once!
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
Just last week he was saying he's not happy. He always said he needed "peace" and he said he hasn't found it yet.
So yes, it takes two to contribute to the demise of a M, that much is true. But until you start owning your half, you will get nowhere fast. And it seems a lot of these folks say they are unhappy and later realize (hopefully), it wasn't the M that made them unhappy, it was something within them.
My x had told me that he was unhappy for 5 years when I got the bomb - I had no idea. Since then, he has said that his affair partner-now fiance had replaced me in his heart, and that he is happy. In my case, I don't think it was within him, but within our marriage. I was just clueless.
I saw stbx this weekend. He was saying how he is sorry for things he's done, how he regrets it very much and would do anything to take it back, he misses me, etc. We hung out and went to a movie. He said he is afraid the past will happen again. Me, too. He said, Do you think we can forget all the things in the past? And I said, I don't know.
He asked what I was doing for Christmas and I told him prob spending it with my fam an dhe said he'll prob take a sleeping pill and be in bed all day... said Xmas isn't the same for him now that I don't live there and decorate and etc...
Yesterday he messaged me to be careful driving, that the roads are unsafe, and later "good luck" on one of my exams.
Found out recently that my cousin who is in his late 30s and married for a good 10-14 years--his wife left him for another man. Left her kids (3) and everything. My aunt was saying how she thoguht he was literally going to go insane. I can't imagine the pain he is going through and yet I can relate on some level (sans children & her leaving him to live w/ someone else). I want to hug him.
