My X wife has probably suspected that I was dating for quite some time but I have not been serious about it and definetly never told our D8 about anyone. The funny thing is that a few weeks ago I noticed my X displaying some slight signs of jealousy.? I took my D8 to a jewelry store because I know the owner and I thought it would be fun for her to try on a bunch of pretty jewelry. Later that day when X picked up D8 she told X that we went to a jewelry store. X must have assumed that I went to look at jewelry for another woman because she got real short and quick to leave. lol She never says a word though, about anything.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
Yes, well, I did not know at the time that she was activly looking for dates on match.com! But, I guess I was too! lol The whole thing rubs me the wrong way. There is so much information that I have not written here on this site. I was not on here for about 2 months, maybe 3? Things were getting better between us, talking for an hour on the phone, 50 texts back and forth during Colts football games, etc. No dates though and no time spent together with the kids. I feel like a fool all over again but I did give it my best shot.
I went over to (her)house to drop the kids off about a month ago and she looked terrible. She had a severe cold and had just woke up right before dinner time. I put my arm around her and gently squeezed her shoulder. She laid her head on my shoulder and I gave her a kiss on the side of her head. I stayed and cooked dinner for everyone, cleaned up the mess I made, gave the kids baths, and got them in bed. I thought I could feel that she still loved me, or maybe I was duped? Before I sent her the text about her dating I sent her this text,
"I have loved you through all the sh!t that we have been through together-including divorce."
Then I started going dark again and that is how I will stay.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
I had another date last night night and I needed XW to pick the kids up a little early,only 15 minutes early. I asked her at around 2pm and she said she had plans but she would see what she could do. There have been countless times that I have kept the kids an hour later because of XW's job and I felt like this was just another reminder of how selfish she is. I wrote this,
"15 minutes early is not too much to ask. How many times have I let you pick the girls up late?"
After that message she tried to call me but I did not answer. I have a strict "text only" rule now. I sent her another text while she was trying to call me for the 3rd time in a row...
"I don't want to talk to you XW. Just be here at 6:30."
She responded with...
"I would prefer talking for a minute. Texting is distracting in my mtng. Please call."
I ignored that one and left my phone to charge. I came back about 30 minutes later and found more messages. This is what she wrote,
"I will get there as early as possible. I don't want to screw up your plans and I like when we could be flexible since it benefits the girls when we work together. I get that you hate me but not talking will make it hard to work as a team for the girls."
"I will plan to be there at 6:15. I hope you will consider talking to me at some point."
I responded with, "be here at 6:30. That is what's fair."
XW- "I can be there early."
I left it alone at that point and changed me reservation for a later time. XW still showed up early at about 6:05. Funny how all last year I prayed for everyday for her to make contact with me and she never did. She was so wrapped up in her OM. Now I need something for my own mental health and I am hurting the kids. NOW she wants me to talk to HER. That little comment she made about me hating her shows maybe a tiny bit of remorse? I doubt it. I still hear "me me me me me" from her.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
Wow. I was hoping that getting my divorce done would start to make my sitch easier, but I can see the drama goes on and on, even after the divorce. I fear I am only a bit behind you in all this.
Just keep remembering, do what feels best for YOU. If you feel better not talking to her, then don't talk. Minor child scheduling issues can easily be handled via text and e-mail, maybe even better. If there is a serious issue with one of your daughters, perhaps then relent, but for normal day to day stuff, there is no need to talk. It irritates my W as well, but that's her problem.
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Funny how all last year I prayed for everyday for her to make contact with me and she never did. She was so wrapped up in her OM. Now I need something for my own mental health and I am hurting the kids. NOW she wants me to talk to HER.
I could have written exactly that, word for word.
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I still hear "me me me me me" from her.
That too.
You're doing great v1olin. Right now it sounds like your W is lonely, and wants that little fix of v1olin to make herself feel better.
Violin, I like your text-only rule (except in case of emergencies).
Maybe one day you guys will get to the pont where you can speak, etc. but right now it's good you've let her know where you stand with that. Eventually it will get better.
I am the best parent that I can be and I do not lean on my X at all for parental support. I know when I need to talk to her for the kids and talking on the phone for a simple schedule is not needed. She just WANTS to talk, she does not NEED to talk to me.
I don't see how she could miss me when she os dating a new guy from match.com. I will not be lead on by her when she is dating around. I am worth more than that!
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
