Please help anyone? I am rereading the divorce busters book for the 2nd time. H and I are in marriage counseling. I think I may have made the grave mistake of having several sexual encounters with my H. First, I thought this was going well "helping" -has been going on for about a month- Now I am not sure. He said in our counseling on Wed that he is still numb and has no emotion towards me of course however he loves me. Ouch! Anyway,what should I do now. I feel like I need to stop but at same time am afraid if I dont then it will go further downhill. Not sure where he is with OW. I have stopped asking about this. It is on the agenda for our next counseling session. Also H has seemed to have taken many things I have said over the last 20 years as a reason for our “horrible” marriage. He says he doesn’t blame me however it sure seems like it. Is this that don’t believe what the say rewriting history thing. Also, it seems like he is confiding in everyone but me. He tells me conversations he had with other people about his feelings that he never even discussed with me. Which then leads him to say he communicated his feelings with me. He also doesn’t have a lot of answers in counseling although it seems he is participating somewhat.
Please help
M-42 H-40 DS-11 Discovery:8/17/10 ILBININWY:8/17/10 IC scheduled:9/13/10 MC scheduled:9/15/10
Your H doesn't respect you. He doesn't respect the OW. Maybe he doesn't respect women in general, IDK. If he has sex issues, then he needs to see IC for that.
I personally do not think a W should have sex with her H just trying to keep him from getting it from OW. He clearly has shown you that that is not going to stop him.
Doesn't it make you feel degraded by the way he treats you? What kind of role model does for M does this teach your D? Are you doing what you would tell her if she was in this stitch? Do you want her to M a man like her father?
If what you have been doing is not working.....don't you think you need to change something?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
IMO he needs to agree to. It off his A entirely if you are to continue MC. What's he point? He is just getting what he wants. To blame you for the M problems, sex from you, and sex from OW
H32 Me32 together:10 M:5 No kids ILYBINILWY 7/28/10 OW found 8/15 A exposed 8/31 I Move 9/3 Dark 10/1
I wasnt tryig to keep him from getting it from OW. He said this was the marriage problem so I "thought" I was fixing he things that he said were problems. Which now he says all the things he wanted are happening HOWEVVVVVER, he is still numb.
M-42 H-40 DS-11 Discovery:8/17/10 ILBININWY:8/17/10 IC scheduled:9/13/10 MC scheduled:9/15/10
No problem. Sometimes I already feel I am about as dumb as they come. Well, its too late for protection. That I think is another issue I have. I feel damaged in that respect.Like I have been ruined for any other future relationship.
M-42 H-40 DS-11 Discovery:8/17/10 ILBININWY:8/17/10 IC scheduled:9/13/10 MC scheduled:9/15/10
