Hi All, I know this is a recurring theme but I am still having trouble understanding it.My W moved into a new place, I do not initiate any contact with her but occasionally see her as we live in the same area.
There didn't seem like any huge reason for the breakup except a suspicion of A, then supposed confirmation, followed by maybe it was just an A she wanted. I am so confused now i don't know what happened or is happening. I have no interest in finding out either. Investigating when separated = Stalking. There is not too much interaction but what there is is very angry from her side.
Why so angry. I gave her the "if you dont want to be married then feel free to leave" speech. I dont harass her in any form. When i see her i just say Hi and go on my way. When i need to discuss something financial I keep straight to the point and she usually sends back an email ranting at me.
I can tell by her attitude she is VERY angry with me. If you set them free why do they still hold the same anger as if you were pursuing them. Any explanations, have never felt this from ANYONE before. Although it doesn't consume me it does upset me when i see it but I try not to show it.
She's confused and unsure of what shes doing. She stays angry with you because it's way easier to blame you and be angry than it is to face her demons.
Her anger is good, she's conflicted and she's hurting. This is an opportunity.
Is texting a good method to communicate for you? What's better?
Is she still having the A?
Give us an example of the rants back to you.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
She's confused and unsure of what shes doing. She stays angry with you because it's way easier to blame you and be angry than it is to face her demons.
That's what everyone around us says but she seems very certain of what she is doing and a trail of burning bridges behind her lay testament to that.
Her anger is good, she's conflicted and she's hurting. This is an opportunity.
Is texting a good method to communicate for you? What's better?
Is she still having the A?
Give us an example of the rants back to you.
We divided up the furniture and she came back after the fact and said she wanted something else. I refused politely and said it should remain as is and the split was fair and equitable (which it was)
She came back and said !!FINE!! and then went on about how she was not a B1tch and how the only thing I should blame her on is leaving and that I never took any responsibility for her leaving etc etc.
I just replied and said
I am not interested in arguing about stuff. Considering your obviously pent up feelings towards me it's probably for the best that you left. I understand that you felt trapped in a marriage you did not want with a person you did not love but you are free now. I understand and accept your reasons without agreeing that it had to go this far. But your feelings are yours and yours alone.
Not sure if this was the right thing to say but i'm tired of it all.
I dont know about the A or not. I got so much confusing intel regarding this I dont know if it ever happened but my gut says it did and in my experience that is usually right.
then went on about how she was not a B1tch and how the only thing I should blame her on is leaving and that I never took any responsibility for her leaving etc etc.
What's the message there? What's she fishing for? Do you recognize the mind reading?
She wants an emotional connection, that's the reason for the drama.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
She's confused and unsure of what shes doing. She stays angry with you because it's way easier to blame you and be angry than it is to face her demons.
That's what everyone around us says but she seems very certain of what she is doing and a trail of burning bridges behind her lay testament to that.
My wife seemed completely convinced she was doing the right thing by leaving me and burned a ton of bridges also.
7 months later I'm finding out she was never sure at any point that she was making the right decision.
There is no way she is going to admit that to you right now.
