then went on about how she was not a B1tch and how the only thing I should blame her on is leaving and that I never took any responsibility for her leaving etc etc.
What's the message there? What's she fishing for? Do you recognize the mind reading?
She wants an emotional connection, that's the reason for the drama.
I have no idea why the anger or what she is fishing for. She blamed the breakup on two things
1. My 11 yr old son and her conflict with him. I tried to resolve this but she wouldn't work with me and just wanted to dominate. her friends and family agreed with me on this as it was happening and tried to reason with her that she needed to soften her approach.
2. My desire to stay active. During the first few years she was very keen on staying active but then gave up. She always said that was something she liked about me but then turned it around and said I was ignoring her. It was like she was just fishing for excuses and reasons. Most of the times i was doing sports (with the kids) she was working shifts. this reason only came up last week 5 months after the bomb.
The frustrating thing for me is i have no real reason what happened here except my suspicion of an A and the info on that has been very confusing.
She constantly tries to badmouth me to her friends but they are having none of it and have stood their ground which prob frustrates her even more.
I don't know and cant "mind read" her reason for leaving but just don't understand the anger especially as she doesn't seem to be having any second thoughts that i can see.
Steve, I agree with you there except I do leave her alone that is what is confusing. if i don't contact her for a week she contacts me berating me about something trivial
I might send her an email like we need to pick a lawyer for the house sale and she comes back with all the reasons she left.
I disagreed with her taking a piece of furniture and got a page long email back about what an a$$ I am with no real reason.
hang in there. i know it's hard and you feel like giving up. i think coach is on to something though.
think of it this way .. why would she waste energy on you (even if it is anger) if she didn't care or is done with the m? coach is on to something about her trying to establish an emotional connection.
hence my question .. how do you establish an emotional connection when all you get is angry outbursts?
hang in there. i know it's hard and you feel like giving up. i think coach is on to something though.
think of it this way .. why would she waste energy on you (even if it is anger) if she didn't care or is done with the m? coach is on to something about her trying to establish an emotional connection.
hence my question .. how do you establish an emotional connection when all you get is angry outbursts?
Well its definitely an emotional connection but it doesn't seem like the emotion we are after LOL.
My wife seemed completely convinced she was doing the right thing by leaving me and burned a ton of bridges also.
7 months later I'm finding out she was never sure at any point that she was making the right decision.
There is no way she is going to admit that to you right now.
konfuseeed, How are you finding out about your Wife's confusion. Is she now talking to you. I have been going through this for 5 months.
At this stage i am on the verge of jumping ship and to be honest if I found someone I really wanted to date I would probably just go for it. I understand some people stay at this for a long time but for me life is too short.
I wont jump at the first chance of getting laid but also will not let something potentially nice slide by for the sake of staying faithful to someone who is constantly angry with me. If I saw some hesitation on her side it would cause me to pause but I see nothing but anger and determination to split permanently.
Although the ideal end result is to piece our M together I am not optimistic and am not going to bet my future on it.
