wow it has been about 3.5 years since bomb and what a ride Im not sure I understand anymore about MLC than I did back then My Xh continues to be very dark with no contact for nearly a year still no contact to his kids or his mother and sisters He is M and reamins somewhere in the west with OW wife I still think about him, and now I have trained my mind to wish him and OW the best I have moved on in many ways but still dont feel I have the closure with him yet nor can I really fully understand what happened I may never reaaly know peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Peace, we are about at the same point. Your situation was one of the most cut-off I have seen on these boards. I know what you mean about not having closure; a real apology, a word of thanks or appreciation would mean a lot to me.
I'm not sure I will ever fully recover from the situation, myself.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Peace - I think that training yourself in the way that you did helps in coping with everything that has happened. We would certainly have every reason to wish them anything but the best, but I am like you...I just don't want to go there.
You're right...what a ride...certainly not one that I ever wish to go on again. And I don't know that any of us will ever fully understand what happened....I know I don't.
My H is heading in the same direction as yours. He is down to a once a week dinner with the girls - if he can fit it in. It is always a last minute invite without taking into consideration their schedules. He just told them that he won't see them at Thanksgiving and Christmas - he will be spending it with his new wife. I think it is just a matter of time when these dinners stop. That is the part I struggle to understand - screw with me - that's fine. But the kids? How do you turn your back on them?
Forward - I did receive an apology but quite honestly...they were just words because his actions didn't change. I do feel that the words were heartfelt when he typed them, but I believe it was in a very brief moment of regret. It didn't take long for XH to go back to his behavior. I don't know that I will ever have closure...I think time will just have to take care of my feelings on that one. But I am determine to not let XH and what has happened define me for the rest of my life.
Peace - I hope you are doing okay. I am trying hard to survive two teenage daughters without any emotional or financial support from XH, let alone any help with rides, academics, etc. But I continue to feel very blessed that I have them and will take everything that comes with it!
forward Yes Im so glad to see many of us on here with the same time I kind of see many of the mlcers at a similar spot, after a few years into this
stuck-either they are walking into a new life unprepared and un healed or they are walking out of that new life with ow the same-unchanged, just alone, confused with lack of willingness to shift or get real help-..
w8ing many do seem to walk away some slowly but aventually make the break It was a difficult road for all of us..but I agree: we cant be affected from this for the worse, but for the better as many of us do seem quite amazing, strong and maybe even lucky for the crises has caused abeneficial change in us that may never have happened
Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Thinking of you Peace. Sorry to hear that your xh is not in your kids lives. That hurts. Maybe it's for the best right now with your xh's unstable lifestyle.
One day I think you will be suprised and he will call or stop in. My first xh waltzed back into his son's life after 15 years of no contact. That was a suprise!
Keep focused on you and your kids. It is your xh's loss. I know that my xh regrets his life and is now focused on embracing each day he has left on this earth.
Stay positive!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Cagz Yes although things are still not well understood, the road of the mlcer seems very typical. at the end and this far along it seems many of them are still folloing the same sort of path basically to nowhere- at the start, I guess i wondered what would happen--now it is much clearer,whta actully does happen to the mlcer. Glam nice to see you! Yes, I also believe what you say one day xh will reappear wanteing to see the kids, although they may be grown by then I do not regret any of my actions through the crises nothing I would have changed in me except what I did and im so grateful I followed the db path b/c I think I got what i wanted..not what I thought I wanted b/c I thought I wanted xh back..God knew what would be best for me and hopefully xh will find his way back to God and maybe a distant friendship with me I would never go back ever--never thought Id say that peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I also believe that XH will someday really regret his actions. I am with you...I would never go back and I never thought I would say those words. Current wife (and former friend of mine) was the proverbial straw for me. Once she entered the picture in that way it changed my feelings of ever reconciling.
I, too, am so grateful that I followed the DB path. I am proud of my behavior in all of this. With the exception of one situation, I would not changed how I handled everything.
I hope you continue to get stronger and happier. Hugs, Peace!
I feel more connected to your situations. My H has filed and is living in the unfinished basement of his old boss. He will not return - of that I am almost sure. We have limited to no contact - although I will see him Friday for the first time since July 30th at S's bb game.
My kids and I feel we are successful but we are all very sad about the loss of H. He's dating (according to what he tells the kids) - he likes her - but it's no big thing.
You all help me so much and I am very grateful.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
w8ing It is a good place to be healed I think It took a while and looking back as painful as it was it was a special time in my life I really beleive one day it will come full circle..in Gods time I am grateful--
Irish thanks for visiting its hard in the beginning to let them go I so looked forward to xh visits the first 2 years I needed that seperation time and im grateful I had it it gets easier..keep moving forward and it gets easier one day at a time! peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
