my h and son gave me necklace

[rysmom]

I made mistake of looking at his mail and saw they went to a cabin last week. I am very depressed today.

[sgctxok]

Hi rys,

I'm sorry. Snooping often just hurts your own feelings. Been there, done that.

I think you have to fake it til you make it with the OW thing. You are never not going to care at all, but you may end up having it affect you much less. Fake it. You don't have to act happy about it, just drop the issue.

You may feel Bond is a bit disrespectful, and it might have an edge or ring of it....but he means well and cares. It isn't drive by sarcasm, he's just wanting to see larger progress.

I do see progress in you, rys.

What do you have on your agenda this week for some fun?

sg

[rysmom]

I feel like I cant compete with this ow. She is very outgoing and confident. I am not like that. How can i seem like the better option in that kind of situation?

[sgctxok]

How did you and your husband fall in love, what were you like then? What is different now?

[lostandconfused6]

I don't think Bond is being sarcastic I think he is truly worried for you. So am I. I follow your thread from time to time, and I really think you need to let this man go. You are losing yourself. Your son is hurting. What will help him the most right now is to see you pick up your life and move on. Please, if not for you, do it for your son.

You are better than this man, you truly are. But you are trapped in a position where you can't see that right now. You are allowing yourself to think that someone is better than you b/c he chose to be with that person rather than be with you. That is not about you, don't let it define you. I hurt for you when I read your thread. Your life can be so much happier than this!

[MrBond]

rysmom,
Actually I do see a counselor about every 2 weeks. As I told you before I have nothing to hide. She helped me to get my self-esteem back and stop thinking about the OM in my sitch. It's been great.

IMO, I don't think you are. You mentioned you were thinking of seeing one but then stopped. If you are seeing one, what are their thoughts on your actions? What have they suggested you do?

If you say that you are, then let us know. I recall you also stopped taking meds. So in all cases I'm concerned for you. You start something one week like meditation or tennis or the D support group, then drop it the next. You need something consistent in your life right now to keep you busy and get your mind off of your H.

If you don't, you will continue to obsess over the OW and not help you at all. Take care of you and your son. That's all you can do right now. You can't will your H to come home or the OW to leave. You have to build yourself up to be able to stand strong on your own and not rely on your H. Right now he is controlling you because you allow it. He's just living his life. You've got to do the same with yours. Again if not for you, then for the sake of your son.

Think about it this way. If your son were asked if he thought you were a strong woman, what would he say? Be the example of strength for him.

[rysmom]

What is IMO?

[rysmom]

Counselor suggested i focus on my life and take care of me and my son.

My class starts today and im kind of nervous about it, new teacher and classmates. It will be and adjustment.

[rysmom]

Son would say Im a strong person sometimes, but im not consistent.

[MrBond]

Then stay consistent.

Did your counselor give you any suggestions or exercises to help you stay healthy?

IMO means "in my opinion".

I would say that you should continue to work on your job prospects and maybe if you have the time, you could volunteer somewhere and help others less fortunate. As bad as your sitch seems there are ALWAYS someone who are worse off than you. Helping them might help you to appreciate the gifts you have right now and start to rebuild your self-esteem.

Stop thinking about your H and the OW for awhile.