I was never really much of a texter except Dan has preferred communicating that way since the bomb so I am used to it now.
And my 'brother from the boards' will text me at random throughout the day so I am used to trading texts back and forth through an evening.
On the other hand, if he were suddenly wanting to talk all night every night I would feel pressured and rushed. So I guess I will continue to just go with the flow... Thanks for the compliment...I am just doing what feels right and keeping things light. Not ready for anything heavy so I just need to let it play out
This morning started off with me waking from a sh!tty Dan dream. For some reason we were alone together and talking and somehow (details fuzzy from dream) he decided to be a jerk and he started telling me in detail all the things that he and ow were doing together sexually and how much more he liked it with her than with me. Wtf? Crappy dream.
Then I leave my morning preschool job and see that I have a text from Dan. "Did Nathan take communion?" Ugh.
Here's the deal. Dan was raised Lutheran, where you have a special First Communion ceremony when you hit a certain grade in school. He and I decided together to raise our kids in a non-denominational church. (He said he did not like some of the fire and brimstone stuff from his Missouri Synod days.) Anyway we kept with tradition somewhat in that both our kids were baptized in a Lutheran church--the one where we got married, the one he attended growing up, the one where he got confirmed. So it had sentimental value.
Anyway, for the last 6 years we went to nondenominational churches and he liked it that way. Also when he moved out, he said we would be going to church together regardless. And we did, meeting at church on Sundays and sitting together. Then when he started back up again with ow, he stopped going to church. We talked about it, he said he would go, then he didn't. So I dropped it.
Now, Dan is mad. Our church says that once you know what the communion represents (Jesus dying for our sins), you may take communion. Not interested in a religious debate I am just saying Nathan met the qualifications....
Well now Dan is upset. He just texted me that communion is a sacrament and his baptismal sponsors and both his parents should have been there...
He keeps firing off texts. "This is unacceptable"... "No 8 year old can understand what it means, it is not church stuff, it is huge"
I just don't get how he so values the sacrament of communion, but not marriage? Two more texts while I sit here about how he just cannot believe I would do that and not tell him. I see his point to an extent, I mean I would be upset if he did communion without me. But I am the one in church with Nathan every Sunday, talking to him about God, and listening to pastors on the radio together. I thought I was making an informed decision.
Well I sent an apology and said if he wanted to talk about it (two texts just said "We need to talk about this") he could call or come over after kids are in bed.
I do think I screwed up, I should have told him. And I admitted that. But at the same time, he said he wanted to be involved and come to church and then decided over the summer to stop going to church. So he doesn't want to be there but he wants to tell me how to raise the kids in the church? I told him if he felt that strongly I could tell Nathan not to take it again (I know, he already took it once but still) until we talk about it, agree, and have some family members come to church with us.
However I also think he should not be 'cherry picking' sacraments. If he feels this strongly about the sacrament of communion then he should be just as strong about the sacrament of marriage...sheesh
You did not screw up. Is it nate's decision on whether or not he believes in God? Is that not the point?
Dan really picks on you. Please tell him to F'off! ugh... his delivery is so screwed up. Can you please ask him about his sacraments and why he is exempt?
This just makes me angry. Sorry... probably not doing any good counseling here. He doesn't go to church... so he shouldn't be worried. He can do communion when he has them. He has had his OW around your children. He looks at porn and takes pictures of his weiny. Why don't you remind him off those things. Push back a little .... maybe he will shut up and stop trying to keep you stuffed in his back pocket like he likes you to be.
He is the ultimate mind-f8cker. (sorry about the language)
I think nathan should be able to decide if he wants his comunion...not his dad. It is all about Nate and his beliefs, not if Dan wants to witness it or the grandparents. The important thing here is what Nathan wants, not Dan. To tell him he can't do it cause daddy doesn't want him to is wrong in MHO.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
I tend to agree with Sandy. If this was such an important thing for him then he would have been more involved with Nathan's religious upbringing. Not having attended church with them in months doesn't seem to me to project any type of real interest in the religous influence in their lives.
I think what he is doing is trying to shift the attention away from his failings as a husband due to his infidelities and on to you with any kind of mistake he thinks you may have made.
"However I also think he should not be 'cherry picking' sacraments. If he feels this strongly about the sacrament of communion then he should be just as strong about the sacrament of marriage...sheesh"
Somehow Dan does not come across to me as a very religious person.......but he sure does a great job of picking those cherries.
