Divorced in August-I'm a Mess

[MrLost]

irishblessings-

I agree. Don't worry about being late. Look how late I am.

This has been a strange ride. In May she asked me to move back in. She said the kids missed me and she did to. So I moved back in. But then she signed up for an internet dating service. She also has been pretty distant and doesn't seem to want to talk much. However, I do not believe she is dating someone else for the mere fact that she is always home. However, nothing has really moved towards the better. I try on my end, but with no feedback, it's hard to know if I am doing the right thing.

[ClingingToHope]

Let me get this straight, you moved back in, then she signed up for an Internet dating service? And you didn't immediately move back out?

Look, my marriage ended two months ago and yet I still hold faint hopes that something will change, but I wouldn't stand for that.

What happens if she comes home and says, hey, can you make them dinner I have a date? Or if she calls and says, you should stay at a friend's house, I want to bring this guy home.

I fantasize sometimes about my ex- asking me to "come home." I hope I'm strong enough to say "only if we are going to work towards rebuilding a marriage. You have to be all in."

I had a friend who reconciled after a divorce. For six months, they were talking marriage again. Six months later he had moved out again. He told me he should have never moved back in, it hurt the same when it didn't work.

[MrLost]

I know, CTH. I'm moving out on Friday.

I don't know what I was thinking. Well, actually that's not true. I know what I was thinking. I was making excuses for her because I so desperately wanted for it to work. The kids took it so hard, which is why I think she asked me to come home. However, if she didn't truly want to work at it, all we did was hurt the kids more by getting their hopes up and dashing them.

This time, hard as it is, I'm going dark. I'm getting my own life together separate from her. It's been a long time since I've done anything other than worry about the divorce.

[mishka422]

Good luck. That's such a sad situation ML. Hold your kids tight and do everything in your power to show them that this is the stability they can expect from now on.