CW it shows how sad OW has lowered her standards too, and honestly would you want anyone in your life that you bribed to stay, I seriously doubt it, thats because you have found selfworth now!
Sounds like a good birthday and even though H talked to you about OW it was good that he could be honest with you that he was being pulled away by her and was resisting. Its good to validate that this is going to be hard for him, and yes if you can laugh with him all the better just not at him!
Hope you had a good day
Rabbit
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I cannot believe that it has been over a month since I last posted! Nothing much new has happened to report...things are going along pretty well!
H and I were on vacation at the same time last week. We went camping over the 4th and we both got a lot of stuff done around the house during the week! He got his hot rod running and we road tripped and visited with an old friend from H's past! He is reminding me more and more of the old H!!!
He is doing little things to help me around the house that he hasn't done for years...ex. help clean up dinner, put clothes in the dryer etc....not ALL the time but a lot of the time. He mowed the other day and I told him that I really missed him mowing (S15 has done a wonderful job but he doesn't cut as close to obstacles so I have to do more trimming!) and he jokingly said something to the effect of me just missing him doing things around the house...I reassured him that there were many reasons why I missed him..
Well, he just got up so more later
He and I had a convo the other night about OW...
I asked him what his attraction was to OW (we'd been talking about the sleeping pills he was convinced by her to take)...he said he honeslty could not answer that...he did not know..she was total opposite of what attracts him! He said that she took pills to go to sleep, pills to wake up etc. She even asked him for some of his sleeping pills as she went thru hers faster than a month's prescription. He believes she has a problem with popping pills!
I asked him why he stayed so long...again, he couldn't answer that...said that he knew he had made a mistake. He said SHE convinced him to file for a D promising him a better life...no responsibilities...they could go whenever they wanted to etc. He said that at first, it was fun! He could ride whenever he wanted, spent money on whatever etc. Then, he began to really miss what he had at home. He explained it as feeling like he was being lured into a trap...he owned that he knew it was wrong but he went in anyway.
I asked him why he bought her a promise ring. SHE wanted one to show commitment. She basically hounded him until he bought her one. He said he spent $60.
He made comments about how weird she was, her whole family is screwed up. He said something about her always wanting him to buy stuff for her! She didn't like it when the kids came over.
I was telling a friend that I didn't know how much to believe of what he said and she made the point that he is probably not outright lying at this time but what he is saying IS the truth as he knows it right now...hopefully more will come out as time goes by.
So far he has been willing to let me ask questions and to try and answer them. I reminded him that when he asked to come home he mentioned going to counseling and he said he still would if I wanted to.
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
This was supposed to be at the bottom of my last post! I guess I got all shook up when he walked in in the middle of me posting and typed without looking at where I was!
There is not really much else to say! My last post makes it sound like I am focused on the OW but I really am not. That is the first time I have really asked questions and I only did because he was talking about the sleeping pills and mentioned how weird she was!
So, so far so good...some bumps in the road but overall I do feel he is trying hard!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Thank you for updating! It does sound like your H is trying and being as honest as he can while he emerges from the tunnel. You are doing a great job in gently leading him the rest of the way through.
I think that some pro M based counseling is a great idea and I'm glad to hear he's willing to go.
I am so very happy for the both of you and your family!
Hey CW, That is a great update on things......I know you are glad to have your old H back!!!!
Just make sure that the "old you" doesn't come back, it is sooo easy to slide right back into that same rut again.
You acknowledge it and SA also agrees as do I......you guys need to get into MC soon!!! Take your time and choose wisely, remember what MWD says about some counselors.......they can do some damage if you don't get the right one.
It is so great to hear from you!!!
Glad things are going well!!!
Cheers
~C
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
MHL...funny you should mention me not slipping back into my old self as I have found myself doing that a couple of times...so far, I have been able to recognize when I am doing that and change my way of thinking/actions.
As for MC...I googled pro mc's in my state and it came up with 2! (they must be the only ones registered with this particular group)...the good thing is that one is in the town that my H works in so would be very handy! It also gave a list of questions to ask a potential MC to see if you are comfortable with them or not!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
