That's so nice RinseRepeat. I hope you can re-establish a nice friendship if not a full relationship. Either way, this must bring you such a satisfying feeling of closure - to know there are no hard feelings and that he appreciated the time you were together.
Me: 35 Him: 43 Together: 19 1/2 years 1st Bomb (IDLYAM): March 2011 2nd Bomb (OW): April 2011 He abandons home/bills/everything: May 2011 He's bought a new house for OW: September 2011
I got another text from him today. I bounced a job referral to him and he was really happy about it. Earlier this summer I was the test initiator. Suddenly he is. Something may be happening here. For the most part our texts are ambiguous. But the other day I flat out told him I've missed him. So.... I don't know what to make of all this. But I like to think it's more than coincidence that he parked in front of my house and that I ran into him. I'm getting some help here.
And Alone, yes it's nice to connect after all this time. And wow! Your h bought the ow a house!? Shoot! Hugs to you dear. That sux. Ouch.
been reading your sitch and wondering...life is funny isn't it?
Just wondering though, what would YOU do differently if you two were together again?
How would the R or marriage be different than before?
How have YOU changed?
If I were him, I'd want to know why this time around would be different.
I read the sitch you described about his illness and the cat. But I didn't hear a lot about what you learned from that. More like "we both" made mistakes and all that.
I can understand you wanting him to get well and seek out help and felt frustrated by his not doing it.
The rest of what you said happened and about the choices you made, I didn't understand.
Good luck, I'm crossing my fingers for you.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Fair question 25. I went through all that and posted about it a couple years ago. I think I know my role in it and what I need to do better or different. He is not fault free, but I understand my part.
This morning I got up and ran out to do some errands before I was very put together. I saw him again! Unbelievable! I was walking and as I rounded a corner saw his car parked. Looked up and saw him mid block looking at a building. I turned on my heels and went another way. If he saw me it was my behind. I should've liked to walk right into him again. But I broke my toe over the weekend and it's taped up looks stupid, and I had slumpy clothes on. Quite remarkable that he's suddenly turning up in my path repeatedly. I'll have to be prepared better at all times, lol.
I gave a quick dry reply to his last text. No return as yet. My hunch is he is potentially interested but doesn't want to expose that. He'll wait for me to put my own head on the block. I said I'd be willing to do the lion's share of the work, I suppose it starts here. I am going to let the texts continue as that dialogue is flowing and seems safe for us both at this point. Soon I will invite him to hang out in a friendly way. That's the day I'll know if we have succeeded in burying the hurt and anger and accept each other as friends. Or if the old fire catch.
I'm back with an update, sitting in surprising uncertainty. Communication between my x & I via texting continued for some time, but as always the text messages gave little or no reason to think he was open for more. For whatever reason (I'm nearly inclined to believe my thoughts conjured him up), I continued to bump into him randomly for several weeks. But with nothing developing and his messages ambiguous, I quit texts and made a full hearted attempt to let go of the idea. Random sightings stopped. Several weeks passed. Recently I & a friend went out to dance at a place I had never been. The venue was gorgeous, the music fantastic. We got seated in a beautiful booth looking onto the dance floor. We toasted that we were on top of the world. Then HE walked in. Didn't see me at first. But walked directly past the bar, through the crowd, across the dance floor as if he was coming straight to me. A couple feet from me he finally saw me and our eyes locked in surprise. He laughed and sat next to me, placing his leg against mine despite plenty of space at our table. He couldn't get over running into me and said he'd never been to this place before either. He & his friend joined us. His friend said that all day my x had been convincing the friend to step out, saying "I feel something big in the air. I just know I'm going to see "the" right woman tonight. She's out there and I think we meet tonight." His friend was reading a lot into that telling me "It's you. Must be you! Imagine vibes pulled him out and directed him straight to you.!" We had a lot of fun, talking and laughing. Sparks were flying. At some point his friend asked whatever had gone wrong with us because we seem to get along so well. Before I could get a word out... my x said, "because I was stupid. I was a stupid man." !!!!!! After a couple hours, my friend wanted to go to a party and initially we said ok let's all go. My x went to pay his bill and get his coat, while waiting for him I had a sudden moment of panic and we left without him. Something was going to happen and I was a little freaked out by how comfortable and easy it was. I did sent him a quick text wishing him goodnight and explained that we had to rush off. He replied it was good to see me and he'd look for me at the event I had told him I was going to the next day. Of course the event was packed with people & I didn't see him. I haven't heard from him. So, I sit on the edge here. I am reasonably certain he would meet me again. If I wanted this for so long, I can't explain my mixed emotions over it. Maybe just some fear.
