The time spent with my son today was precious on his birthday. He's such a blessing! The youngest of 4 and knows what he wants, lol.
Anyway, had complete one on one time with him to focus entirely on him. Usually, I have all four at once so it's nice to have these opportunities.
Dropped him off, saw two of my other d's. They asked if I wanted to come inside and if I was coming to our son's party..and they were persistent!
W heard and saw all of it, which was great. I handled with class and told them they would see me Sunday, all day.
W talked to me a bit walking back to my car and wants me to go see a counselor regarding our oldest D. W indicated D has gone once and went pretty well. I ageeed. She left me with the impression that it was going to be D, myself and the C.
When I called to schedule, the C said she would like to meet with me indivdualy, first, then with D. I have a suspicion that will lead to W being added in, just a hunch.
Probably more of a social worker approach. No problems yet, but D is going into sixth grade and I predict she will begin to rebel against the sitch. Again W continues to be very nice to me. No R talk since May.
I would like to see you become a little more indifferent to your W and focus on you, but I also understand where you are. You have kids and co-parenting seems tough(I don't have that issue)
I will say that your W will continue to test you until all your kids are 18. She will constantly see where you are at even WAY before this. I know, when you are truly ready to stop watching or thinking of what SHE is thinking though, there could be a major breakthrough.
Until you really get a LIFE FOR YOURSELF without watching, she will continue to have you kind of wrapped. I'm not saying this to be rude, just making an observation.
Keep doing what works, but don't be fearful of changing it up a little. Become mysterious. Make her wonder what's up with you.
Faith, Yeah, I know, that's my biggest backslide--watching/wondering what waw is thinking, getting the right response/reaction, etc.
This all hit in the spring when my consulting business took a big hit and lost contracts. So, it's been an added stress of career exploration, need $$, looking for work outside my business, feeling like that has failed this past year, too, bla, bla. Truly rock bottom, man.
I believe this is all here to teach me something as hard as it is to admit.
I am really working on BEING happy without a reason in the world. The reasons add to that happiness. One day at a time.
Journaling--Met with D10 counselor this a.m. Went pretty well. Primarily focused on relationship w D and how I viewed things with her. She's overall a very good kid who I have a great relationship with and really want her to feel she can come to me to talk..I remind her of this. More preventive approach at this point.
The worries I have is she will begin to rebel and lash out because of being split and the fact D is entering sixth grade which begins a host of other challenges. I love her very much and tell and show her every chance I get.
Counselor asked a bit about me: I am anxious/depressed, etc.
Well, hell yeah!! My WAW is shattering people's lives..including our kids, but kept that feeling to myself. She had some good points to remember..not to argue in front of D..which we never did..we never really argued a whole lot, which led to WAW's passive-agressive behaviors.
It pretty much revolved around co-parenting under two roofs. Really suck$ talking like that. These encounters really hit home of the reality in place. I'm still going to DB regardless. Overall, it was helpful, just a shame knowing the person who can stop the pain...won't (yet:)
My anxiety is split between the two BIG irons in the fire: one-the obvious WAW and the other is my career.
For years I had success with my consulting business until this spring when the bomb dropped I lost a TON of contracts and business, leading me to be looking for additional work. Been on my own for so long that I didn't realize how challenging job hunting was, holy !@#$ lot of crappy jobs out their..very humbling. In Ohio, there are 4.5 people looking for work for every one job opening.
I'll tell ya, these two things at the same time are enough to drive someone crazy, truly. I trying really hard to find the seed of opportunity with all this. Staying positive as I can.
Me too! At such a crossroads man, with everything. Open to completely reinventing myself, including career.
Need to share and incredible "syncronicity" that happend yesterday.
I put a little post on facebook saying I'm looking for additional work and if someone wants to respond to private message me.
Received a reply from a girl I went to high school with who works for the metropark system and inquired what I was searching for. We traded responses while I was at the library. (A library that I haven't been at in years because it's my old hometown, and been away for years). Sent friend a reply thanking her and who do I see getting out of her care with her son as I'm walking out? Yep, friend. Haven't seen her in 20 years, very cool. Turns out she has been separated from her husband since March.
No such thing as accidents. Perhaps, it's just a way to let one another know we are not alone and that other people are hurting, too, and can relate. I just couln't believe the speed of emailing to seeing her at library...she was just passing through and doesn't live there either..wow.
Waw left voicemail requesting to switch my time with the kids because an out of town friend is stoppng through with her kids.
I don't mind switching days but must admit, I fell like she gettng everythng she wants and part of me wants to say sorry I'm booked that night. Why does she still get t me?
Ahh, felt great after dropping off kids for the evening because waw was waiting for them while on phone driveway and know she wanted me to walk up and engage.
I huggd the kids at the car and got the heck outta there quick. She was talkin loud on the phone "that would be awesome." she said so I could hear. Probably to one of her friends. Could care less. Actually chuckled as I was leaving in a hurry.
By golly, I thnk I'm actually dropping the rope. Reason being, previos attempts were frm me talking myself into droppng. Now, it feels like I have with a who cares what she does or what reaction she gives to me. Not n a mean way..in a healthy way!
Nice time with kids this weekend. Had them overnight and went to my Dad's to visit. Pizza, movies, sleepover. Went to nature science museum and library yesterday with them.
Returned them (God, I don't like saying, returned) yesterday evening. My FIL was there for drop off as waw was out of town at a wedding.
Yesterday, happened to be our anniversary. No exchanges by either of us.
