Here were your posts from last year between April and October.
4-47-10I am suppose to go to my attorney on mon. i want to have something written up to divide our assets because my h is a spendaholic and in serious debt because of it. He asked his mother to take out a loan on her house and she is going to. His life is so unmanagable.
im feeling tempted to call him. because I get very anxious and worried about him trying to screw me financially. I cant meet with my lawyer til next Fri. His rental property is in short sale and I dont want that to effect money that I get in asset separation agreement. I picture him having fun with different woman, and I am home depressed and worried. I often feel like I hate him.
I told h how bad he hurt us and that i don't want that foreclosure to effect money that i get, because that is all i have for the rest of my life. I want him to know how bad he hurt me and my son. i've had enough of keeping it inside.
I am almost positive that she is pregnant too. I called him and told him I knew everything.
8-26-10 I never realized how sick his family was until the affair happened. I dont know if things will ever change. He even uses people that he has working for him and doesnt pay them.
10-17-10 I went to a womans support group and met another lady going through the same situation, but she filed for d 4 mos ago.
10-10 my h is a spendaholic and i worry we are going to lose everything because of his debt.
Here you mentioned about how he doesn't pay those who work for him (shady business dealings). How you will have no money (especially when you thought he was trying to have a baby with OW); and how you went to a women's support group, when you just said there wasn't any around you. In fact, you stopped going because you said it made you feel depressed. Now mind you this was all when you were going to school anyway, so I'm assuming the financial situation is the same. This week you also said that it was the first time you let your H hear about your pain. Not true. You did that a year ago too.
So my point is. What's changed? YOu mentioned above too that you were seeing a L but a couple of months ago, you said hadn't gone yet.
So what is the truth?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
IDK where you are, but I think you're not that far from Philly. And Essential Experience isn't really "extreme" although it is intense.
They use Jungian analysis, behavioral and cognitive therapies but also it's experiential. Meaning there are not lectures so much as there are exercises so you can't "rehearse" your answer and you'll discover things about yourself you didn't know. Nothing too personal to share with others if you don't want to. But I found it helpful to not "prepare" my responses b/c I learned more that way. And the environment was very supportive and safe feeling. You will not be judged.
Even more important for me, was having an action plan when I left. A plan for living my life differently, and follow up and there are also support groups built in. It's a life long process that begins with that weekend.
Even though I went 20 years ago, more for issues more related to my childhood and how my dad's drinking effected my adult life and my career in criminal law (and the ugly things I was facing)
I ended up with boundaries that I'd never had and felt comfortable with before. I felt very in touch with the strengths within me and capable of solving the negative traits I wanted to repair. I felt I was becoming my best self. AND as a result I was so much more grateful for what I had in my life and all my r's improved. Especially my m.
So when h said he wanted to go too, I was amazed & happy. So off he went but he didn't call me that first night or the second night (their days are long). I got a little worried, like I wondered if maybe h wasn't happy in the m or if he thought the workshop was too weird.
Then he called and said "Thanks, This is the best gift anyone has ever given me."
making small changes in the direction of your life can lead you to a very different place down the road. Think geometrically. KWIM? Like if you draw a line and change the angle just a few degrees but draw the line out and you'll be a very different place than if you'd stayed on the same angle.
Check out their website & see what you think.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
vc, are you there? i dont want you guys to disagree on my account. Hope you are having a good day. Wish you lived closer so we could go shopping or something together.
Here were your posts from last year between April and October.
4-47-10I am suppose to go to my attorney on mon. i want to have something written up to divide our assets because my h is a spendaholic and in serious debt because of it. He asked his mother to take out a loan on her house and she is going to. His life is so unmanagable.
im feeling tempted to call him. because I get very anxious and worried about him trying to screw me financially. I cant meet with my lawyer til next Fri. His rental property is in short sale and I dont want that to effect money that I get in asset separation agreement. I picture him having fun with different woman, and I am home depressed and worried. I often feel like I hate him.
I told h how bad he hurt us and that i don't want that foreclosure to effect money that i get, because that is all i have for the rest of my life. I want him to know how bad he hurt me and my son. i've had enough of keeping it inside.
I am almost positive that she is pregnant too. I called him and told him I knew everything.
8-26-10 I never realized how sick his family was until the affair happened. I dont know if things will ever change. He even uses people that he has working for him and doesnt pay them.
10-17-10 I went to a womans support group and met another lady going through the same situation, but she filed for d 4 mos ago.
10-10 my h is a spendaholic and i worry we are going to lose everything because of his debt.
Here you mentioned about how he doesn't pay those who work for him (shady business dealings). How you will have no money (especially when you thought he was trying to have a baby with OW); and how you went to a women's support group, when you just said there wasn't any around you. In fact, you stopped going because you said it made you feel depressed. Now mind you this was all when you were going to school anyway, so I'm assuming the financial situation is the same. This week you also said that it was the first time you let your H hear about your pain. Not true. You did that a year ago too.
So my point is. What's changed? YOu mentioned above too that you were seeing a L but a couple of months ago, you said hadn't gone yet.
So what is the truth?
Bond I had not seen this when I posted or I'd have addressed it.
Actually RM, you should address it! These are inconsistencies of yours.
Bond has taken the time to do what I could have but didn't. I too felt that a lot of what you said sounded like I'd heard it before, but didn't put the effort into proving it.
RM, Bond has a lot of good points. You cannot ignore them. Why do you?
Seriously...it gets frustrating when I think a question offers a valuable chance for growth &insight but is ignored. Kind of weird or at times even rude. Like totally ignoring
Bond's time consuming post.You can own things & learn like we all had to.
And don't worry about VC and me. I think we're fine (hope so- though she favors the tide...please).
But the issue is your path and the strong tendency you have to answer few questions, and then when you do so, it's as if you're mad at us for pestering you.
We want you to stay on track in some direction.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I text h and told him to get his stuff from house. i think its been here long enough. i said i am going to sell house in spring and we are moving. he said im driving. i hate him. h and ow are going out for dinner tonight i found out. he is so heartless i cant take it anymore. If you have nothing good to say Bond dont send message.
I just want to screw him good financially now. Ive tried long enough to make this work.
rm
wow, that's a change if I ever saw one. What's up?
I mean, did something happen or did a "straw break the camel's back" or what?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
"If you have nothing good to say Bond dont send message."
Gee I don't think I said anything bad in my post. You wanted to know where I got the idea that you said your H was making some shady business deals and I just showed you.
And all I did was ask in what way have you changed? Oh I know as far back as a year ago, you said that you changed by being more outgoing, etc. But the core thing that you haven't seemed to have changed in terms of your tolerance of what your H wants.
Even this recent example of what happened with your son in terms of him wanting a film career. It wasn't what YOU wanted, so you said some negative things about it. That's what you need to change.
Even if you decide to D your H. Don't you think tolerance would be a great trait to have? Maybe that's just me.
Oh and that part about the L? It seems as if you already got all the paperwork before so why are you seeing another one?
I've seen so many posters come and go on your thread that no one now recalls your past. Not even you. Go back and re-read it again. Maybe you'll find some answers.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I played tennis today with my lawyer friend, we have not played or seen each other for 2 mos.. We got talking after and he asked how i was doin. I told him that i was upset about stuff with h that happened today. He asked what i was doing tonight and i said nothing much. he asked me to go out to dinner at 7, so i said that sounds good. We went out and had a great time and he treated, it was so nice to go out on a sat. night with a nice guy, i miss that. We are just friends though. But i like that it takes the pressure off from trying to impress. i can be myself. he still is seeing lady in NYC. He never had children and she has 2 young kids, i think thats one of the reasons he likes her.
