Send her an email, just to catch up. It will make you feel better about the situation because as it stands now, this is holding you back from pursuing other relationships. You either need closure by talking to her and accessing her feelings. If you don't ever get this, you will wonder for the rest of your life. As for the dreams, trust me it still happens to me and I got back with my wife. I still dream of her with the OM. It hurts, only time helps to heal you but the scar will always remain. God Bless You!
Personally, I wouldn't send her an e-mail. What would be the point? Would it help you attain your goals or just undermine them?
I too still "care" about my W, even though there are longer stretches these days where I don't. The other day, I got some stuff in the mail that she sent me, and I noticed that she had moved from one apartment to another -- preferably a bigger one so that she and OM could live more comfortably. (Not really sure, but that was my guess.) And it hurt, just seeing that little thing. But I took it in stride and moved on, knowing that the pain would fade. And it is doing just that.
I would refrain from "mind-reading" about what your W does or thinks. When it comes right down to it, you really have no idea what she's doing or thinking, so don't make any "suggestions" on no basis of fact. That's a dangerous way, my friend!
I just think you have to be careful, it seems too many people are thinking there is a textbook way to save the marriage. The only principles I believe in are biblical. Yes I use textbooks sometimes to give me different views and I choose what to believe and what to ignore based off of the teachings that I've learned. Trust me the way to save your marriage is through God. It starts with God and by bringing God to the forefront of your relationship you attract that person to God, not to you, but to God. Once they have that relationship, we can cleave to our spouse through him. I just hope that he reaches out to her, attract her through his actions and his relationhship with God. Once she sees these things she will come closer.
Close your eyes or go in a pitch black room and tell me what you can see around you. Not a thing, that's equivalent to living in darkness.
Open your eyes and turn on lights all around you and tell me what you can see. Everything, that's living in God who is our light.
If one person is following God and living in light they can help lead those to God through the light of the word. I say this not because I'm some religious person that thinks I'm perfect.
I say this because I was there, I know the other side, I know how it is to lose your wife, to lose your kids, your house, your family, your job, your friends. I lost it all within a matter of months.
I have my wife, my kids, a great job, a few houses, yet I still struggle to live in the light in a world filled with darkness. I just want others to know that the truth will be found by crying out to God and letting go of self.
I've tried. Trust me I have. She wanted to hear no parts of anything related to God coming from me. I guess she's happy.
MTS, She probably doesn't want to hear anything related to God coming from you because it conflicts with everything she's doing and wants to do right now. I think your W has decided she can put God in a box he'll just stay there. I honestly don't like her chances of that working well for her long term. I'm sure her perceived feelings of happiness are temporary.
Meanwhile, keep turning to God and use this time to continue to work on yourself. Keep GAL'ing.
