Merry Xmas to everyone who rolls that way. If you don't, I hope you're still taking time to experience joy and warmheartedness to someone in your life.. or doing something good for someone else.
Speaking as someone who doesn't concern himself one way or the other with the existence of any deity, I enjoy this holiday because it brings a warmth and tenderness to many people's hearts and that is something I concern myself with a lot.
I've been taking time away for the past month or so and just working on living my life. Nothing special to update in my interpersonal sitch. Working full time now, which is a big adjustment.. but I'm glad that its happening. Having to sit all day is making me crave exercise!
I really hope everyone on here is able to reach out and connect with someone during this season -- yes our spouses may have left us and created a big sh!tstorm in our lives, but it doesn't make us any less capable of loving or being loved.
I would even venture to say that the deep pain we feel and the experience we are having are actually opportunities to learn to love much more skillfully than we previously knew how.
As tumultuous and crazy as the past year has been - it's also been in some ways one of the best years of my life. I can't think of another time where I felt as awake as I do now. Maybe adolescence, back when I knew everything.
So.. all of us who are going through this experience.. remember it is ultimately an experience.. it is impermanent and our lives can and will change. We are able to take responsibility for so much of the way we choose to experience our life.. our joy.. our pain.. our love.. our confusion even.
I hope that we can all find some kind of simple and basic connection tomorrow - maybe it's family.. friends.. a stranger at a movie theatre (hey you're both at the movies on xmas.. that's something), and take the time to cultivate warmth and appreciation in our hearts and minds for both ourselves and others.
Also, my deep gratitude for the wonderful and caring community on this board. Thanks for being such a good group of folks!
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
